tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284410472024-03-13T19:03:55.204-04:00Reformed Mamare·form: (r-fôrm)
v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms
v. tr.
1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition.
2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
<br>
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n.
(also m-mä) Informal. Mother.Reformed Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764147870414619425noreply@blogger.comBlogger267125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28441047.post-52183366566284592542010-02-07T23:41:00.002-05:002010-02-07T23:50:48.072-05:00Been A WhileI really should be sleeping. But, I'm not. I seem to have this aversion to sleep, even when I'm dead-dog tired. So, I'm here. Playing around with a blog I've not touched in a very, very long time.<div><br /></div><div>I reckon I should give the latest update in case anyone still reads this old blog. We are now living basically in the middle of nowhere. Literally. We have a Wal-mart here, so that counts for something. I also happen to now live in the COLDEST place on the planet. Well, not actually, but it sure feels like it to this southern girl. I kinda like to think of my new home as the great, white tundra. It's vast, cold, empty and mostly white because of the snow.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's not to say that it isn't pretty. It is pretty here. I just don't like the weather. AT. ALL.</div><div><br /></div><div>The people here are pretty nice too. I have found an awesome church to attend where the people are friendly, the teaching is biblical and no one bats an eye if a mom nurses her babe during the service. I LOVE that. </div><div><br /></div><div>My boys are growing like weeds. Eddie is 4 now and Andrew is 2. Eddie is all about school and learning and stuff like that. Andrew, is more concerned with trucks and dogs than books. They are healthy and strong and so very sweet. Just yesterday (maybe it was the day before) Eddie told me he was going to live next to my house in the camper when he got big and that he was going to build a Chic-Fil-A for me. That's a boy after my own heart right there.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, all is well (except for the frigid temps here) and maybe I'll be back to update more sometime soon.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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I knew I'd have a wonderful career and make lots of money. I knew those things would keep *MY* family from going down the path my family of origin travelled and I thought it would fix my family of origin.<br /><br />Yeah, I was a dreamer.<br /><br />As the oldest of three children, I had to take care of my younger brothers and help around the house. I did try to escape those duties and was sometimes successful, but sometimes I had no choice but to obey.<br /><br />By the time I was 16 and was a senior in high school, I had no one to help me apply for college or to encourage me to continue my education. I had no one to show me the way. I HAD to do it all alone.<br /><br />When I was 18 and in my sophomore year of college, my mom left. My dad fell into a deep depression and was unable to work. Half the time I did not even know where he was. Here I was, trying to make something of myself, working to pay for school, having to track down my dad for money for the rent so we had a place to live AND having to try to keep my brothers in school. I gotta say, that was not a fun time and I tried to find every possible way to escape.<br /><br />I transferred to another college for my junior and senior years of college. There again, I had no assistance with that process. I also only had grants and a student loan to pay my way; along with whatever measley money I could earn working part-time at Sears. I had no idea what would happen to my brothers. I cared, but as an 18 (almost 19) year old, what could I do?<br /><br />I completed my college degree in mass communications when I was 20 years old. During my time in college, I had dated a very abusive boyfriend and had also found the strength to break things off with him (in spite of his repeated attempts to kill me and my family). I managed to graduate with only $4500 in student loand and I had landed a job as a graphic designer. I was on my way to the top.<br /><br />I share those things because they all contributed to me becoming a VERY VERY VERY independent, strong-willed person. By the time I finished college I was at the point where I'd take orders from NO ONE ever again; especially if those orders got in the way of my success. I had come to believe that there was not a person who would help me do anything and if I wanted something done, by golly, I had better do it myself. If anyone else tried, they'd mess it up.<br /><br />Fast forward a few years to maybe 1997 or 1998. I was working at a magazing publishing company as the promotions coordinator. I was 22 and was on my way to making art director of one of the publications. I had a good job with GREAT potential.<br /><br />Around that same time the Southern Baptist Convention made the news by speaking out on the role of women in the home. They said that they believed women should submit to their husbands.<br /><br />Now, I was a Christian, but I had been out of church for a while. I couldn't deal with the guilt/conviction over my own sin so I ran. There was a man whose office was accross from mine and one day he brought up the topic of submission. I looked him dead and the face and said, "There is NO WAY I would EVER attend a Southern Baptist Church because they are a bunch of wack-os."<br /><br />Honestly. That's what I said. He asked why and I told him that no man was ever going to tell me what to do in my own home.<br /><br />God has a GREAT sense of humor though. Let me just tell you! By fall of 1999 I wasn't just a Southern Baptist, I was <span style="color:#cc0000;"><strong><em>ENROLLED IN A SOUTHERN BAPTIST SEMINARY!!!!</em></strong></span> HA HA!<br /><br />See shortly after that conversation on submission, the guy who I had been dating (and bossing around) and I broke up. I've mentioned that I met Ed in a bar. I don't know if I mentioned that shortly after I broke up with *that* guy, I was dancing at said bar (you can go to a bar JUST to dance and not drink) and Ed was there with a friend. This friend was a nice guy who danced with me and challenged me on a few things.<br /><br />We were chatting and this guy asked if I attended church. I threw out my old line about not having found one yet. Then this guy asked me how long I had been in the area. I told him about 2 years. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "That's no excuse." In a bar ya'll!!!<br /><br />I was in church the next Sunday and rededicated my life then. I found a church home and started studying like crazy (all the while developing a strong friendship with Ed). As I studied I changed. I became more aware of what was important and what wasn't. I sought out different types of people to be around. I wanted to be a godly woman.<br /><br />When Ed and I FINALLY started dating, I began praying EARNESTLY for God to give me wisdom about our relationship. I learned about submission and what it is and isn't. I learned about men and their roles in the home. I yearned for a strong spiritual leader as my husband.<br /><br />The tricky part was/is that I was/am a very strong person. I remember praying so hard that God would show me if Ed would be able to be a spiritual leader over me. See, I was smitten, but I didn't want to marry some pushover and Ed was so nice (and ya know nice guys can't be strong).<br /><br />Around that time Ed began to share his thoughts on wanting to be a strong spiritual leader if he was to ever get married again. He began to show me his strong side. I began to allow him to feel like a leader instead of having to lead the way.<br /><br />Then I went away to seminary and learned even more. Throughout our dating relationship, God showed me how to step aside and let Ed lead.<br /><br />That's not to say that we didn't/don't have our rough spots on this issue. In fact, on our way to our LAST pre-marital counseling session we got into a fight over the directions to the church that were going into the wedding invitation. We almost called off the wedding over that. He wasn't gonna give and neither was I.<br /><br />When we got to the counseling session and shared about the fight with our pastor, our pastor (whose name is Pastor Love, by the way) just looked at us and laughed. He told us it was good we were going into marriage *knowing* that we are both strong-willed and are both leaders.<br /><br />We still have our bumps, but I can say without a doubt that the times when I do put aside my need to be right or to be served or to lead or whatever, are by far the sweetest times in our marriage.<br /><br />So that's the long version of how I went from hardcore, independent, strong-willed woman to a most-of-the-time submissive wife. Hopefully by the time I'm 90 I will master this submission thing.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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