Potty-Training 101

I know, Eddie is a bit young to actually begin potty-training, but if potty training will prevent me from having ot fish turds outta the tub, then I say the boy is ready.

Tonight I had already drained the water from the tub and was getting the boy's towel ready. He kept wanting to stand up, which I should have understood as him saying, "Mom, there's a big somethng coming outta my rear and I don't like it."

Instead, I took it as, "Look mom, I'm gonna stand up no matter how many times you tell me to sit down."

Then I heard it. That little, "pfft" that didn't come from his mouth and I thought, "Oh no! He's gonna poop. Quick. Put him on the toilet!" (He's only a year old so we don't have a "potty" for him yet."

And I picked him up too late. Loverly.

At least the water was already down the drain.

There's nothing like trying to fish a turd outta a tub full of water. Which do you do first? Grab the turd or drain the water? Gotta grab the turd because if you don't, the boy will. But what do ya grab it with? Do ya KNOW what happens to toilet paper in water? And I'm not using MY hand to grab a turd.

Anyway... I sat the boy on the toilet just for the fun of it. He laughed. Then I had to take him off the toilet and clean the turd outta the tub without him trying to reach over the edge to get the turd and since he was naked, I was really hoping he wouldn't pee all over everything.

I sat him on the floor and then he pulled up on the toilet. He saw that there was water in there and wanted to play. I stopped him before he could though.

While Eddie may not have learned a thing tonight, except that there is water in the thing he likes to flush, I DID learn a few things.

1. Get a bigger bathroom when you start potty-training.
2. Keep one of those little fish nets beside the tub.
3. Naked boys in bathroms are bad news.
4. I'm ready to potty train.
5. Sadly, Eddie is content to poop or pee whereever he pleases and has no desire to potty train yet.

We escaped tragedy this evening, barely. I wonder what tomorrow night will hold.

And yes, I did just spend an entire post talking about turds.