Decisions, Decisions...

Every sermon I hear lately seems to be related to the decisions we make and how important they are. I hate making decisions.

Right now Ed and I feel like we need to make a decision about our future (not marriage wise -- that's all good), but we have not a clue which way to go.

People say that if God allowed you to see the big picture in terms of the plans he has for you, you'd be petrified. I've heard God's Word referred to as a flashlight that lights just a few feet ahead of you so you know where to step but aren't afraid to take that step.

Right now, Ed and I feel as though our flashlights are almost dead. We can't see a centimeter in front of us and both of us have feet that are bigger than that. So... which way do we step?

I know, I know... be still, right? Well if you knew me, you'd know that was pretty close to impossible for me. I am not patient. I don't like surprises. I don't "do" suspense. And on and on.

The only time I've ever actually been still was when I was on bedrest and that was hard. I do things for myself, thank-you-very-much. To have Ed HAVE to cook for me was torture -- and not because he is a bad cook.

So, how do I "be still"? How am I to be still when there are decisions to be made yesterday? How do we take a step when we can't even see in front of our faces?

I dunno.

And I have to say that this whole idea of "knowing the will of God" kind of baffles me. I can know his will in reading Scripture. That is a guarantee. Other than that, I have to depend on the Holy Spirit and on my flesh to not misunderstand some ushy-gushy feeling as the Holy Spirit's prompting.

Who am I to think that I, a mere sinful WORM, should be entitled to know the will of God? God is God and I am not.