A Small Struggle

When I was in seminary I very quickly came to understand that pastor's wives were to be a certain type of person. Pastor's wives wear big hats and floral print dresses. Their hair is always "done" and their makeup is perfect. Their shoes match their handbag and they never sleep in anything other than a pretty nightgown.

Their homes are perfect; decorated with beautiful antiques. They serve dinner on beautiful heirloom china and their meals are always homemade and perfect. They entertain guests frequently and use linen napkins -- paper napkins are beneath them. They iron their clothes and never fight with their husbands. Their children are not kids and always wear matching outfits.

She is sweet and kind. Always smiling and never saying a mean word.

In short, pastor's wives are feminine. I am not.

While those things are not necessarily true, the ideas I had about pastor's wives made me thankful that I was never going to be one. LOL!

So why am I rambling on about this? When I was a girl I used to like the idea of being the wife that I just described. Then something changed. I don't know if this change came about after I went to college or if life just jaded me or what.

I read things in various blogs about femininity and wonder where I fit. There's one blogger who I just outright envy. She has it all together.

Here's the problem for me. I don't like flower printed clothing and big hats. I don't iron unless absolutely necessary. I cook from scratch often, but not all the time. I never sleep in anything pretty anymore.

My son has never worn shoes. I don't like shoes and I rarely carry a "handbag."

I speak my mind and I don't smile if I don't feel like it.

None of the things the pastor's wife does fits my personality at all.

So if I don't like the things that are "feminine" where does that leave me? I wouldn't say I am masculine -- not really at all. How does one grow to appreciate those things? How do you become feminine without giving up who you are? I know Scripture teaches that women should not look like men, but can't you do that without being "feminine" -- at least my idea of what feminine is?

Anybody got a book on the topic? I need some help here.