re·form: (r-fôrm) v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms v. tr. 1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition. 2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n. (also m-mä) Informal. Mother.

6.10.2006

Between a Rock & A hard Spot

Several years ago, prior to rededicating my life to the Lord, I had heard some jibberish about the SBC and how they had passed a resolution on marriage and the family stating that the wife should submit. I think this was back in 1997 or 1998.

My immediate response was that I would NEVER be "Southern" baptist because the idea of submissive wives was archaic.

Fast forward my life and see how things have changed. I am now a submissive wife and I wouldn't have it any other way. That doesn't mean that sometimes I don't feel caught between a rock and a hard place, but I can pretty much guarantee that my life is much easier this way.

See, I happen to be a very independent, stubborn, strong-willed old mule. My husband, bless his heart, is the exact same way. Could you imagine what our home would be like if neither one of us ever submitted? I wouldn't want to live in THAT house; I can tell you that.

Last night my dear, sweet hubby and I bickered. What we bickered over (okay, outright fought over) is not important though. Just know that what my husband was asking me to do was something that is not sinful or anything like that. And no, it was nothing sexual. ;) However, what he was asking me to do was something that made absolutely every fiber of my being scream, "heck no!!!"

Of course, that initial response, of "heck no!" was not exactly submissive and it was greeted with an appropriate rebuke. The issue was not resolved when we finally turned in for the night.

Often times when issues like this crop up, I pray and then I bite my tongue. Praying is easy. Me holding my tongue is NOT. Unfortunately, I have the ability to rip someone to shreds within seconds just by uttering a few words. That is a battle I face daily. It's not a battle I'd wish on anyone.

So, I held my tongue, as I have in the past, and I prayed. Apparently Ed did some praying too. He probably prayed that God would just smite me -- and I would have deserved that. Fortunately for me, we have a loving God who chose instead to point out the submission issue to me and who also chose to change my husband's heart so that we were once again on the same page. Imagine that.

I can't tell you the number of times that God has been faithful to change both of our hearts so that we are united when our first fleshly response has been to lash out and to divide. It's taken me a while to learn to trust God with my heart enough to trust Ed. My heart and my life are not in Ed's hands, they are in God's hands. If I trust Him and am obedient to Him, the rest will work out. It may not always work out as I want it, but it will work out for the best.

Ed is commanded to love me. If he loves me (and it's obvious that for some strange reason he does), then he will listen to my thoughts and ideas and will consider them when making the final decisions for our family. What do I need to worry about?

That's right, nothing. Submitting is much easier than trying to change my stubborn old husband's mind. And I say that in a loving way, honestly.

One more thought, perhaps if our society was not so bent on the idea of independence to the point of isolation then more marriages would work out. But, that's a rant for another day.

2 Comments:

Blogger Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney said...

Bev---
I'm right there with you.....it IS hard but the benefits are so worth it. And, in submitting I find my greatest freedom.

Now, do you think we should do a women's lecture on this at church? I wonder how that would go over! :)

10:17 PM

 
Blogger Reformed Mama said...

Well, you know how that went over a few years ago when I taught on that at home, right? ha ha! I do know of a few women who could stand a lesson there though.;)

10:39 PM

 

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