re·form: (r-fôrm) v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms v. tr. 1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition. 2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n. (also m-mä) Informal. Mother.

8.16.2006

I Keep Thinkin'

about my mom.

I wish I knew where she was and if she was okay. I feel like I am trapped. I can't help her. I need to help her.

She has always called on birthdays and the like. Not this year. I turned 31 and she didn't email or anything.

I don't even know how to look for her right now. She could literally be anywhere. Most likely she is still in Pinellas County, FL. But where? Clearwater, St. Pete?

Is she working? Does she have a place to live? Is she being abused? Is she alive?

And there is absolutely NO way (that I know of) to find the answers to these questions. She "disappeared" on her own -- even gave warning. So I can't file a missing person's report.

If she did become homeless (which would not surprise me), the liklihood of the authorities being able to find and identify her -- dead or alive -- is slim.

I could call around to all the facilities in Pinellas county where she *might* have gotten a job, but that could literally be any restaurant or any nursing home or any cleaning agency or any hotel... you get the idea.

It's not fair. It makes me mad. If I can't have a normal relationship with my mom, then dang it, I should at least be able to know if she is alive or not.

I know I've gone on about this before. It's one of the many things that keeps me up at night. :sigh:

4 Comments:

Blogger Carrie said...

Praying for you both! I'm sorry you are hurting.

7:07 AM

 
Blogger Jennifer said...

Bev, I'm so sorry. I can only imagine what that must feel like! ((((hugs))))

9:44 AM

 
Blogger Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney said...

Bev, I don't know what to say 'cept I'm really sorry. I can't imagine.

Moms are a hard thing to figure out sometimes. I think because of all you've been thru, you are going to be one rockin' mom to Eddie for LIFE.

1:04 PM

 
Blogger Shawnda said...

I cannot imagine!!!! May the Lord grant you a peace that surpasses understanding, sister!!!!!!!!

3:38 PM

 

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