Disappointed -- I Think?

I am not at all sure how to respond to a situation. I dunno if I'd even call it a situation, to be honest.

I know no one nurses their babies anymore and I know babies are "supposed" to go to the nursery during church and Sunday School, but I can't do either of those things and I feel like an outcast for it.

The mommy wars really really get old. I know pro-bf moms who say horrible things about moms who formula feed their kids and I know I've certainly gotten weird looks for still nursing Eddie. That's just not right.

And I'm sorry, but I can't bring myself to put Eddie in nursery. First of all, Ed and I both feel very strongly convicted about having Eddie in service with us. Secondly, Eddie is still a preemie. While he's not had the problems he could have had, I am not ready to expose him to a whole host of germs that could be lurking in the nursery. Thirdly, I don't think Eddie is ready for nursery.

So, every Sunday Ed and I go to church. Every Sunday one of us holds Eddie while he naps. No problem there. Then when he wakes up he may make a sound or two. The looks start. They say things like, "How DARE you keep your child in service?" and "Don't you know your son is interfering with the work of the Holy Spirit?"

Now, I know those ideas are pure rubbish (especially the last one) but the looks bother me.

So, either Ed or I will take Eddie out when he wakes up. That means one of us misses a chunk of the sermon. Our church has no speakers in the nursery or anywhere like that. The only place where there are speakers is downstairs where the director of the children's ministry is. If I need to nurse Eddie I can't very well just whip it out and nurse in front of the director, can I? He is a man and I would not want to do that.

I am not the only mom who has nursed at Reavis. I am not the only mom who is bothered by this. I appear to be the only mom who will speak up though. Even the moms who don't nurse could benefit. Moms who don't nurse still miss chunks of the sermon when they get called to the nursery to console their inconsolable child.

So, I've mentioned this issue to no less than five people who are in leadership at our church the necessity for a nursing mom's room. One person told me they would check into it. No response -- Ever. One person told me the speakers were disconnected in the nursery because it wsa too distracting to have the sermon being piped in (no comment). One person told me that speakers used to pipe the sermon into the foyer, but people complained about that.

The latest response bothers me most though. This person said, "I don't know what the answer is. Can you put Eddie in the nursery? I never experienced that because I just put my kids in the nursery so I could be fed because I was with my kids 24-7. I needed that God time."

I really wanted to cry then. I know she meant well, but it's not just about me and Eddie. Moms are missing out in a way. Just like that mom needed some God time, other moms do too. But the only answer is to stick the kid in nursery and not worry about it? That bothers me.

I don't know how to respond. Do I get mad? Probably shouldn't, but that's the flesh response I want to give. Do I cry? That's what I am on the verge of doing now. Do I keep pressing the issue? Do we leave to find a more family-friendly church? What do I do?

I haven't any idea. I just know that ignoring the needs of moms in a very reproductive church can't be a good thing.

PS -- If you attend Reavis, don't ask for names. I ain't talkin'. :)