re·form: (r-fôrm) v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms v. tr. 1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition. 2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n. (also m-mä) Informal. Mother.


In Other News

Eddie apparently like forts and tents and stuff. He absolutely loves it when we hide under a bedsheet or make a fort from boxes for him. So, Ed made the frame for a fort for the boy.

I spent some time today sewing the walls. Tomorrow I will finish the walls and will attach the roof. I'm pretty excited.

The frame is just made from PVC pipe and I found some great, colorful fabric at Wally World yesterday. I think later I'll get some of that really fluffy, furry material and put that down as a "rug" in his fort.

My boy may have goofy parents, but he's got the best fort in town.

Picts will be posted when I am finished.

What a Joke

Seriously. Ed STILL has no orders. They have known about this deployment since September and as of today, the next to last day of October, the military has not yet provided Ed with orders.

Ed's boss called the people who do the orders. Their response was that they should know something about when the orders will be done at the end of the day today. Note that they DID NOT say that the orders will be done by the end of the day today, only that they will have a better idea of when the orders will be done. GRRRR!!!!

Seriously. How does anything in our govt. get done?

I just really hope it doesn't take them as long to do these orders as it has taken them to do his promotion. He's been waiting for that since 1991 when he got back from Desert Storm.

Good thing God knows our forwarding address, right?


Pastor Said,

"God knows your forwarding address."

I had to chuckle when he said that too considering that we don't know our forwarding address yet and we are supposed to be moving soon. :)

Pastor was talking about stewardship today. It was a good sermon. While he did not ONLY focus on $$$, that was a good bit of his sermon -- being obedient in our finances.

While I admit that I am far from perfect in that area, it is an area that I feel more secure in. I know I need to tithe and I do tithe. It's the first check I write whenever we get any money -- at least that's how it USUALLY goes.

Stewardship in other areas for me... well, I need some work.

Gifts: A hard one for me because I know my main spiritual gift is teaching. If I could do anything all day long, it would be teaching. It's hard to get into teaching though when you move around so much. Know what I mean?

Talents and Abilities: I know I have one or two, particulary with PRINTED graphic design and such. It appears as though there are an abundant number of people in our church who have these skills. That's a good thing for the church.

Time: OHHHHH, this is a biggie for me. I can waste time with the best of them. I am a procrastinator. I procrastinate studying or packing or doing laundry by cleaning eveyrthing else first. Seriously. The best way to procrastinate is to start another project. I need serious help in this area.

My Son: How am I to be a good steward with my son? He is, afterall, on loan to me. I try so hard. I want to protect him from so many things. That's one reason he has not received any vaccinations aside from the RSV vax. That was a hard decision to make.

I stay home with him because I think that's the best for him. I want to teach him everything I've learned. I am trying so hard in this area. Of all the areas, this is the area of stewardship that I take most seriously. It's the one that scares me the most too.

There are of course, other areas of stewardship, but these are the biggies for me.


Rain, Rain

It's cold and rainy out. Been rainy most of the day. I like these cold rains though.

My idea of a perfect evening, before I was married, was popping in some Ella Fitzgerald or Joshua Redmond, curling up in my comfy clothes on the couch and reading a good book while sipping hot cocoa filled with marshmallows. Doesn't that sound heavenly?

Now that I'm married though *and* now that I have a kiddo, that's just not going to happen. That's okay though. I get to snuggle with my sweetie pies while listening to the tap tap tap of the rain and breathe in the sweet smell of my baby's skin. Not much is better than that.

Since Ed's finally home after being gone all week, I am gonna go do just that.


In His Own Time

My son is a perfect example of one who marches to the beat of his own drum. He does things when HE wants and that's that. He won't take any flak from anyone about it either.

I should have known that being Eddie's mommy would be an interesting ride when he came busting onto the scene 11 weeks early. But I allowed myself to imagine a child who would do things right when I expected them and in order. HA! Joke was on me.

When Eddie started rolling over, he rolled from front to back first. Everything I had read said that babies roll from back to front first. Not my son. He hated being on his belly so why on Earth would he roll onto his belly intentionally?

Then, he started walking while holding our hands in April. He was only 8 months old actual age and about 6 months old adjusted age. He had never crawled or scooted or anything like that. He just wanted to hold our hands and walk.

Teeth... babies are supposed to get bottom teeth first, right? Not Eddie. His top teeth came in first. He has his four front teeth and now he's getting molars. Where are the rest of his teeth?

He's been cruising for a few months now but when we try to encourage him to stand, he just sits down. He doesn't want to stand.

Feeding Eddie is always a delightful chore. Especially when he decides he's NOT going to eat what you made him, but that he is going to eat your food instead or that he's going to feed the dog or drink water or clean his high chair tray. Have you ever tried to put a spoonful of food in the mouth of a child who is violently shaking his head "no" while pointing to your plate and demanding your food? Loads of fun, I tell ya.

Ya know, now when I put several foods in front of him, he points after each bite to tell me what he wants for the next bite. And Heaven forbid I should try to trick him and put something else on his spoon. He's too smart for that.

He started scooting a little while ago. We assumed he would never crawl because he hated being on his belly so much. Well today, after months of walking holding our hands and months of scooting and a few months of cruising, Eddie decided to crawl. Go figure.

He's such a little turkey. I love him to pieces, strong will and all. I can already see though that he and I will probably butt heads more than a few times. I wonder where he got all this strong will from. Certainly, it couldn't have come from me, right?


Living in Limboland

It's a fun place, really. You ought to visit sometime. It's guaranteed to take at least 5 years off your life.

Ed has been working at his unit in Charlotte all week so that we can have some sort of income. They still don't have orders for him for SC. The last update was that the orders would be ready by the end of the month. That's what, 4 business days away??? They had better get a move on.

I extended our lease to Nov. 10. I wonder if I should just extend for the whole month of Nov. Or should I just go ahead and move to Sumter without Ed having any orders? At this point I really don't care where we end up, so long as we have an income. Know what I mean?

And one last rant. Sorry, but for those who want the govt. even more involved in our lives and business -- ARE YOU STOOOOPID or just crazy? Seriously.

If the govt. cannot even manage certain SMALL things like typing up orders for a military member, then what in the world make you think the govt. is capable of educating our children, providing quality free healthcare to all Americans, or managing your retirement account?

Sorry... I'll teach my own children and manage my own money and find my own doctors. Thank you very much. Doing it myself has GOT to be better than spending my life in limboland.



So tonight I hopped on over to the blog I created for my mom. I thought I would see if anyone happened to post a comment. Much to my surprise someone did comment.

She left some info that she has access to concerning my mom and my mom's job. I used the info she gave me to email the company where my mom was last employed. I don't know if they can provide any information, but I thought it would not hurt to ask.

We'll see what they say.

Potty-Training 101

I know, Eddie is a bit young to actually begin potty-training, but if potty training will prevent me from having ot fish turds outta the tub, then I say the boy is ready.

Tonight I had already drained the water from the tub and was getting the boy's towel ready. He kept wanting to stand up, which I should have understood as him saying, "Mom, there's a big somethng coming outta my rear and I don't like it."

Instead, I took it as, "Look mom, I'm gonna stand up no matter how many times you tell me to sit down."

Then I heard it. That little, "pfft" that didn't come from his mouth and I thought, "Oh no! He's gonna poop. Quick. Put him on the toilet!" (He's only a year old so we don't have a "potty" for him yet."

And I picked him up too late. Loverly.

At least the water was already down the drain.

There's nothing like trying to fish a turd outta a tub full of water. Which do you do first? Grab the turd or drain the water? Gotta grab the turd because if you don't, the boy will. But what do ya grab it with? Do ya KNOW what happens to toilet paper in water? And I'm not using MY hand to grab a turd.

Anyway... I sat the boy on the toilet just for the fun of it. He laughed. Then I had to take him off the toilet and clean the turd outta the tub without him trying to reach over the edge to get the turd and since he was naked, I was really hoping he wouldn't pee all over everything.

I sat him on the floor and then he pulled up on the toilet. He saw that there was water in there and wanted to play. I stopped him before he could though.

While Eddie may not have learned a thing tonight, except that there is water in the thing he likes to flush, I DID learn a few things.
  1. Get a bigger bathroom when you start potty-training.
  2. Keep one of those little fish nets beside the tub.
  3. Naked boys in bathroms are bad news.
  4. I'm ready to potty train.
  5. Sadly, Eddie is content to poop or pee whereever he pleases and has no desire to potty train yet.
We escaped tragedy this evening, barely. I wonder what tomorrow night will hold.

And yes, I did just spend an entire post talking about turds.


Challies blogged about Halloween today. He raised some interesting points. I was already thinking about posting my thoughts on the topic, even if my thoughts are kind of random.

I really hate Halloween. I don't like seeing mock cemetaries and "dead" people hanging from trees. Ghosts and Franken-ghouls freak me out. Haunted houses are wretched.

I see nothing at all pleasant about celebrating death and fear and terror. Yeah, yeah. I know not everybody celebrates Halloweenie in such a grotesque manner, but I''m talking about the people who do.

I thought we were supposed to think on those things which are noble and pure and righteous. I thought fear did not come from the Lord. If fear doesn't come from the Lord then it must not be a good thing, so why celebrate fear? And don't even get me started about those haunted houses that have fake Jasons and Freddies running around. They are celebrating murderers -- even if the murderers are fake.

The whole "holiday" (ha ha) really creeps me out and that's without even going into it's origins or how pagans celebrate the night.

How should Christians celebrate? I have no clue; earthly or otherwise. I've heard that providing a safe "Christian" alternative is a wonderful thing and I've heard arguments against it. I've heard people say that it's okay to let the kids play dress up and go out for a night of trick-or-treating. And I've heard people say that if Christians participate, even with "good" costumes and no celebration of death or the dark side we are celebrating evil. Challies suggests that the day is a good time to show our Christian love to the unchurched.

As for me and my house though, we are thankful that we will be in the middle of the moving process when October 31 rolls around, thereby allowing us to provide everyone with an adequate excuse as to why Eddie's not participating this year.

Now, Eddie does have a costume, but he wears that on regular days sometimes, so... :)


Sumter, SC

This past Thursday we decided to take a trip down to SC to actually check out some fo the rental property in the area. Ya know... since we had the time and since Ed STILL had no orders. He still doesn't, by the way, but they say he will have them within the next day or so.

And people seriously want the govt. MORE involved in our lives? Are they stupid?

Sorry. Didn't mean to go there.

Anyway... We loaded the boy up in the car and headed on down. It's really not that far -- only a 2.5-3 hr drive. That's kinda nice. My friends from NC could come visit. Columbia has a nice zoo, I hear.

Oops! Another tangent.

I had gone online to search for properties available in the area and then I got out my handy-dandy little map and highlighted where we needed to go. We had a plan and we were stickin' to it or somebody was gonna get hurt. :)

We got there and drove up to the first house on our map. It was a little out of our price range, but if ther is no availablity on base for Ed, then the military will be paying anyway. We wanted to keep our options open, ya know?

The house was super cute. Fairly new. In a nice neighborhood about 5 minutes from the base. There was a big yard and trees all over for privacy. As we wer backing out, the military couple who was moving out of that house pulled up. They let us take a peek inside. I fell in love and was ready to sign a lease then and there -- even with no orders.

Ed insisted we check out some of the less expensive properties on our list. Here's the thing.there was stuff that was waaaaaayyyy below what we could afford and stuff (like that first house) that was just out of our price range. Nothing in between. That made me nervous. And rightfully so.

We journeyed on to our next stop. We had to stop by a realtor's office to pick up some keys to a house we wanted to look at. We should have left immediately after talking to the receptionist. While I am a little country and many of my friend are very country, this woman was waaaayyyyy country. I almost could not understand her. Seriously.

I asked her if she knew about the area where this particular house was located. She kind of laughed and said, "I ain't never lived there. The girl who lived there before got a little boy, I think. They live there six months or so." (I can't bring myself to type exactly the way she talked, so use your imagination).

Her response should have been clue #2 that we should just skip that one.

The house was on a 1 acre lot and was only $ Ed had asked the realtor on the phone the day before why the house was so cheap. She just laughed and said ti was a small house. Too many people laughin' about this house, if you ask me.

We drove out there anyway. As we pulled onto the DIRT ROAD we justlooked at each other and hoped for the best. Then we had to pull onto the "lawn" to park. HA! I looked to the left of the house and saw that the neighbors had decorated their yard nicely. They had an old dilapidated boat, and a rusted out truck they were using for planters. Their lawn furniture consisted of a blue flowery loveseat and chair. I'm NOT kidding.

The actual house we looked at was not BAD, but it definitely was not anything I'd CHOOSE to live in.

So, we continued on. We drove by 4 or 5 apartment complexes that had woodpanels in the windows, broke down air conditioning units in the "lawn" and half-naked "ladies" getting dressed in front of the open window. These would be the places that were below our price range.

There was one apartment complex that was right in our price range. We got there and it was like really bad deja vu all over again. I was smack back in Daytona Beach.

The manager there had the same personality as the mgr. in FL. The look of the apartments was the same. Everything. We did get a key to check out a vacant apartment. As we walked there we passed at LEAST 20 or so dead roaches. These weren't jsut roaches though. They were those palmetto bugs. You know. The roaches that dive-bomb your head and that are about as big as Eddie's foot.

And once we saw the actual apartment, we decided that was definitely not hte place for us.

We did find one apartment complex that was SLIGHTLY less expensive than the houses on the upper end of the $$$ scale so we went there too. They were nice -- for apartments. Spacious. Clean. New. Quiet. Not in the ghetto. However, after the deposits and pet rent (grrr!), the apartments turned out to really not be that great of a deal.

So... Still no place to live. Still no orders. Lease still up on Oct. 31. Ed will be in Charlotte tomorrow with the Guard. Hopefully he will get what he needs then and will be on his way to SC.

Pardon The Dust

I'm remodeling a bit. Things may seem way outta whack every now and then until I decide what I like.


Family; A Thing of The Past

We have all heard the discussions about how homosexuality would bring about the downfall of the family. We have all read about how women in the workforce would cause a decline in the number of traditional families. We've probably all said, "It's coming. It's part of "their" agenda." And we've probably all heard in response that there is no "agenda," that people just want the right to enjoy their lives and to love who they "naturally" love.

Well folks, it's happened. This article discusses the results of a recent study by the US Census bureau. For the first time there are fewer traditional families in America than there are single people, single parents and "non-family" entities. The non-family group refers to gay or heterosexual couples cohabiting out of formal wedlock.

What's next? I don't want to know. I know that those who are in favor of pushing gay rights are laughing and asking if this is part of the "gay agenda;" the same agenda they don't believe exists. Others are stating that this shift will allow people to be who they are wihtout out guilt or shame or fear and that must be a womderful thing.

I'm sorry, but i don't want to be who I am naturally. Who I am naturally is absolutely vile in the face of God's holiness. Yes, he loves me no matter what, but my sinfulness cannot handle His holiness. I guess if you mock God anyway you don't really care wht your sinfulness does to Him.

Who Do You Love More?

"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me."

Matt 10:37

I am reading The Wasted Life by John Piper right now. GREAT BOOK. I highly recommend it. In fact, I am even considering giving my copy away because I think EVERYONE should read this book. I NEVER give books away.

Anyway... Piper talks about how the wasted life is one that does not seek to glorify God in EVERY single aspect. That's an idea I had heard before and I agreed with. I still do agree with, but I am thinking more and more about what that means.

Piper used the verse above in one part of his book that was talking about magnifying Christ in the midst of pain and suffering. He says that when we are able, after losing all that is dear to us, to say that we have everything we need and more, we are magnifying Christ.

Now, to be honest, I've always thought that loving Christ more than my parents was a relatively easy thing to do conssidering my upbringing. I don't think I had really thought about that verse though since Eddie's birth so the verse struck me kinda hard.

In Luke 14:26 we are told that those who do not hate their parents and children and their own life cannot be Christ's disciple. I don't think we are to literally hate, but rather that our love for our parents and children should dull in comparison to our love for Christ.

I have to be honest, aside from Ed, there isn't a single thing or person I love more than Eddie. When Eddie was born prematurely, I was angry with God because I was scared of what might have happened to Eddie. I SHOULD have been praising God for being who He is -- regardless of the outcome of Eddie's prematurity.

I don't know how to love Christ more than Eddie. I don't know how to be like Abraham who was willing to sacrifice Isaac to honor God. I pray that I learn how to be that obedient and that loving towards Christ.

Hurry Up And Wait... Still

Oy Vey.

Ed still has no orders from his NG unit. Why? Because they are fighting over who is going to pay him while he's "deployed." So we have 14 days before we have to be out of our apartment and we have no orders and no place to go in SC.

WooHoo! This is more fun than Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.


Now You Wait Just a Nose-Pickin' Minute

Eddie's new favorite thing to do is stick his finger in his nose. It's quite comical and disgusting all at once. He does it quite often during mealtimes which just makes it all that much more gross. I thought I'd share my son's amazing talents with you all.


Future Tarheel Basketball Player


Mama Bear

Today at church Pastor talked about Nehemiah and how the Isrealites protected their city. I could not help but think about protecting Eddie.

I want my son to be like his daddy. I want him to feel like vomitting when he sees a woman who is ungodly and promiscuous. Not that he is any better than she is, but I don't want him to fall prey to her deceptive ways. Let me just tell you that the thought of some girl dressing like a hoochie mama in an effort to lure my son sends my blood pressure through the roof. So please, if you have daughters, make sure they dress modestly.

I certainly don't want Eddie to be promiscuous or a ladies man or anything like that. I kinda lean towards not spanking, but I'm pretty sure that if I found out he was participating in sexual activity outside of marriage, I might have to break out the belt -- I don't care how old he is.

I want him to have godly friends and mentors. I don't care if he's a doctor or a lawyer or a welder. I want him to be godly. In order for him to be godly, I have to train him to understand Scripture for himself. I have to teach him how to seek God. I have to be a godly example. That's quite the responsibility.

I guess my prayer is that Eddie's future mother-in-law understands this and raises her daughter in a similar manner.

Things I Love

  1. I love waking up when it's COLD and snuggling with Ed. ;)
  2. I love the way Eddie's hair smells and the way it feels on my nose.
  3. I love hot chocolate on a cool evening.
  4. I love reading Paul's writings. They could be a sermon on their own if they were read straight through.
  5. I love climbing into a bed with fresh HOT sheets right outta the dryer after I've just gotten a nice HOT shower. Of course this never happens because it requires someone else to make the bed right as I am getting outta the shower.
  6. I love watching Eddie learn new things. He can clap and point and turn the light off now.
  7. I love curling up with a good book and a blanket on a yucky day. This never happens anymore either.
  8. I love Corny jokes. The cornier, the better.
  9. I love the thought of having another kiddo running around. I don't so much look forward to being pregnant again.
  10. I love it when Ed sneaks up behind me and hugs me.


We don't have cable and we get no television stations where we live, so we watch DVDs. We recently finished watching the second season of LOST. It's an interesting show, but I don't think I will continue watching. It's not very edifying and some of Mr. Echo's "theology" bothers me BIG TIME.

That said, I was thinking about the show the other day and how I can kind of relate to the characters. They have been handed one crisis after another after another. I feel like that's been our life for the past two years. Our plane crash was moving to FL. Eddie is our Aaron, but without the "infection." I'm not pregnant like Sun, but sometimes I feel like I must be speaking another language to those around me.

And on and on and on.

I was thinking about that and then I started reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper (my favorite writer right now). Then I went to bed. As I drifted off to sleep that night I thought about my life and how I wanted off this "island." I prayed and just asked God to show me the way to safety because I'm tired.

That night I dreamed about being on the island with Jack and Sawyer and Kate and Mr. Echo. There was something else in my dream, but I am not sure what it was. The only thing I remember was waking up and thinking WORSHIP.

Now, I don't buy into Freud and dream analysis and all that mumbo jumbo. But, I do recognize that if something is true and good and noble and righteous and it's brought to memory after a dream, then there is nothing wrong with applying that.

It's interesting to me because since that day I cried out in my livingroom for God to change me, my prayer hsa been for God to teach me how to worship. Worship in today's society is usually seen as that thing we do before preaching but I'm pretty sure that's not the only thing God intended when he mentioned worship.

To be honest, that thing we do before preaching sometimes bothers me because it seems to be more about an ushy gushy feeling and about the people on stage than it seems to be about God. And, I'm not a singer or anything like that, so maybe that's just not how I worship. I dunno.

I do know that worship is something we are to do with every part of our life and we should do it even if we are lost in the wilderness.

Paul said he had learned to be content in every circumstance. James tells us to count all of our tribulations joy. Why? Because it glorifies God when we do.

Piper talks about this very thing in his book. Granted, I'm only about 50 pages in, but... He talks about how when we live our lives to glorify and worship God, everything else falls into place. While things may not go our way and while we may be uncomfortable at times, we can still find joy and happiness simply by seekng to glorify God in ALL we do.

In 1Co 10:31 we are told, "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." That means EVERYTHING. That's good food for thought, if you ask me.


Things I Dread

1. I dread getting up in the mornings. I am not a good sleeper and I like my mornings to be spent under the covers making up for the sleep i missed the previous night.

2. I dread balancing the checkbook. Do I really need to elaborate?

3. I dread family reunionsand get togethers. I know that sounds bad, but I feel like the "weird" one in my family. And, I admit, I am, but I don't like feeling like everyone thinks I'm weird -- does that make sense?

4. I dread changing the cat box. That's just gross.

5. I dread changing Eddie's poopy diapers. That's worse than the cat box. Maybe.

6. I dread putting away laundry. Washing it and drying it is easy. Putting it away is the absolute worst chore EVER.

7. I dread looking for a new church when we move to SC. Church searching just stinks. I am too analytical and too social to do that job.

8. I dread filling my car with gas and that has nothing to do with the price of gas. I just hate pumping gas. I'd pay extra if there was a full-service gas station near me. What will I do when Ed goes to SC? I reckon I won't be going to too many places. :)

9. I dread giving the cat a bath. It needs to be done, but goodness. Have YOU ever bathed a cat?

10. I dread the day my son grows up and moves out and all that jazz. I think I'll end up crawling into a hole for months when that happens.


MY View

Apparently today on "The View" several of the hosts made derogatory comments about us breastfeeders. They said that it's gross to brestfeed for more than a few months and that we are a scary bunch of people because we throw bottles and cans of formula at the heads of those who don't breastfeed.

What fools. Do they not realize that ignorant comments will only serve to further alienate people from their show?And let's not even mention that this is National Breastfeeding Week. Fools.

Here's the deal. I breastfeed my son for several reasons. I had planned on at least tying ot breastfeed him, then he was born prematurely. Any doctor will tell you that premature babies need the immunity and nutrition from breastmilk even more than full-term babies. Not only that, but preemies can't digest formula very well. So, when Eddie was born early, that sealed the deal. I determined to breastfeed at least until he was a year old (adjusted age). Now, RSV is still a risk for him, but he's not getting the vax this year. SO, I am breastfeeding until at least April 2007.

The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until the age of two -- AT LEAST.

As for you and your child, do what you need to do. I have friends who formula-feed/fed their kids and I don't think I have ever said a word to them about their choice. I simply expect the right to breastfeed my son for as long as I so wish without being called militant, indiscreet, perverted, etc... And plesae don't spout off some off-the-wall accusation that I throw formula at people's heads.

I've never even thought about launching a 6 oz bottle of formula towards anyone -- until now, that is. I think Rosie O'Donnell and her friends would make a loverly target, don't you?


The Trouble With Eddie

is that he's getting smarter.

I never thought that I would say that my son's increasing knowledge would be a problem, but here I am saying just that.

He's discovered how to turn of the lights and flush the toilet. He can drink just unassisted from a regular cup without spilling his dring and he can empty the dog dish. His faorite new discovery though appears to be hiding his food. I'm proud of him for mastering the drinking thing. And the lights, flushing and dog dish don't bother me nearly as much as hiding his food. I think he thinks he's Houdini with his little food disappearing act.

It's quite entertaining to watch, the first few times. Then it gets old. He will act like he's gonna eat something and he even puts his hand and the piece of food in his mouth. Then, suddenly he's got his hand behind his ear. 1-2-3 Presto Change-o no more food.

Unfortunately for Eddie he's not perfected his magic trick yet. I've discovered the secret to his "magic" and I am not impressed. I usually find food smashed into the side of his head or on that side of the high chair. Bless his heart.

That's not his only "magic" trick involving food either. He can have a Cheerio in his hand, pretend he's gonna feed the Cheerio to me, then pretend he's gonna eat the same Cheerio and then suddenly the Cheerio is gone. and the dog comes running over to the high chair.

Eddie thinks I'm not smart enough to figure out what he's doing. So far he hasn't fooled me, but I fear the day is fast approaching when my son will be smarter than I am and I suspect he'll use that at least a time or two to his advantage. Bless his heart. Or should I say, "God help me"?

I Think a Little Birdie Reads My Blog

Either that or my pastor realling does read my blog. I dunno which.

Why? Well... I just received this email from him.

Hi Bev,
Just want to touch base with you about your recent email about having
speakers in an area for nursing mothers. Things have been busy here and I
can''t remember if I responded back to you. I have someone working on
this. I hate this has been an oversight. I realize that now you and
Ed are preparing to move and you will not benefit from this. However, now
that you have made us aware, others can benefit in the future. Know that
we are going to miss you again. Know that you are always family and we
hope you will always call us your home. Hope you have a blessed day.
Please let me know if I can do anything for you guy's.

We're Better

We haven't told him we are moving. Only a few people know. Maybe he didn't read my blog and maybe no "birdie" exists. I dunno. Either way I am tickled pink that Reavis will be getting a nursing mom's room. :)


Before There Was Pack-N-Play

There was cardboard.

Salvation Isn't Saying a Prayer... It's MUCH More

My family was/is not Christian. They have attended church enough to know the right things to say, but the fruit (or lack thereof) in their lives indicates to me that they do not KNOW Christ. I know that sounds judgemental, but our fruit does indicate much more about who we are than our words do.

At any rate... my parents did not attend church when I was a kid. They did not teach me Bible stories or songs. We did not pray before our meals. Christmas was about helping others and about Santa and oh yeah, some woman had a baby a long time ago and named him Jesus.

In spite of all that though, I had a desire to go to church and to learn about this baby named Jesus and to do what was right. So I begged my mom to let me go to church. My mom would put me on the church bus and off I'd go. I loved it. I loved the people and I loved hearing about this person named Jesus and about Jonah and Noah and God.

When I was really young, I actually thought I would *marry* Jesus because I had heard talk of this "bride of Christ." Stop laughing at me. :)

Anyway... we moved to FL when I was 7 yrs. old. To old ladies who lived up the street from me invited me to go to church with them. Their names were Bessie and Dorothy. So I asked mom and she said I could go. I began attending regularly with them and learning more and more and more about God and what it means to be a Christian.

One Thanksgiving when I was about 9 I was up at the playground swinging. I remember looking all around and seeing God's creation and how wonderful it was (even though I was in FL ha ha). And I just had to praise Him. It was then that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God existed and that I was meant to worship him. So I sat on the swing and sang my little heart out. Songs like; I have Decided To Follow Jesus and I Will Enter His Courts With Thanksgiving... I'm sure the people around me were glad to see me go home that day.

Anyway... I continued to learn and I had a desire to serve God like nothing you could imagine. I'd sing hymns while walking up and down the school halls. I'd tell my friends about Jesus and all that. I'm sure I was probably dubbed the "weird" kid in elementary school.

During high school I had a friend, Tiffany, who got saved. She was "on fire" if you know what I mean. Of course, that rubbed off onto me. So we preached to people and told them they'd go to hell if they did not repent. Ummm... yeah, that's probably why I was picked on so much. And it's further proof that immature Christians probably shouldn't be missionaries in the public school system, but I digress.

Fast forward to college and all that. I had finally been noticed by boys, amazingly enough. I exchanged my Sunday School lessons for Saturday night parties and attention from boys. Yep, I was seeing college-aged guys, but I am no longer dumb enough to think that the boys from whom I was seeking attention were men. They may have been 18 or 19 or 20, but they were boys. Immature boys.

Because of some poor decision making on my part, I felt tremendous guilt and could not darken the steps of a church. I knew I had sinned. I knew I would be judged. I knew I would be looked down upon. I knew I could never go back.

So I wallowed. I wallowed in sin and self-pity and guilt and shame. I tried to hide that pain with other boys or with education or with work. None of that worked. That pain was still there.

I had moved back to NC on my own. My BOYfriend had dumped me. I had no friends. I worked all the time. I was depressed and angry and heartbroken. I had nowhere else to turn. I was out running errands before my usual Friday night dancing. I was at the intersection of Wendover and Bridford Parkway. I heard "Flower in the Rain" by Jaqui Valasquez and I cried out, "God help me." I couldn't even utter a real prayer at that time. I could only muster the words, "help me."

Then I went dancing. I had met Ed the week before and was hoping to see him again. "Lucky" me, he was there. he introduced me to one of his National Guard friends named Ryan -- I think that was his name. Ryan and I talked some and during the course of our conversation the topic of church came up. The conversation went something like this.

Ryan: What do ya do on Sundays?
Me: I usually sleep 'til noon and then I watch football all day. I LOVE football.
Ryan: Hmmm... you don't go to church?
Me: No, I haven't found one since I moved up here.
Ryan: How long have you lived here?
Me: About a year.
Ryan: Then there's really no excuse, is there?

Yeah, I was busted trying to make excuses for not attending church or anything. And I was busted in a bar of all places. Amazing that God would use someone in a place like that to bring someone back to Himself.

You can bet your bippy that the following Sunday I was in church. The Sunday School lesson was about forgiveness and how Satan wants us to wallow in our guilt and shame rather than handing it to Christ. The sermon was along similar lines. When I got home I cried out to God in the middle of my livingroom floor. I knew I had been living apart from him. I knew I had been wallowing in sin and guilt and shame. I was tired of living that way and I asked God to change me.

A few years later, I was in seminary and now, here I am; completely changed because God sought me out in a bar.

Over the years people have asked if I ever said a sinner's prayer. That's a tricky question. I've prayed as a sinner, certainly. But I can't say that I've ever prayed that prayer that's written in the back of tracts. People and Satan have tried to use that to convince me that I must not be saved. I have to disagree. See, I know that changes that have taken place in my life. I have seen God move in miraculous ways in my life. I know that apart from Him I am nothing. I know He called me out. I know I am but a sinner saved by grace. I know that if I could go back in time and erase the horrible things I did, I would, but I also know that I don't have to.

My salvation is much more than some prayer that someone else wrote. My salvation is a gift of grace from God and is the result of him seeking me. My salvation is personal and it's effective and everlasting and it's a process. I was saved, I am being saved and I will be saved.

In short, I know whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which He's committed against that day.



What a Day

Ed woke me up bright and early today. He wwanted to drive down to SC so we could scope out where our new home will be.

Now, I'll be honest. I absolutely am NOT one for being up bright and early and I am certainly not one for wanting to spend all day in the car to go look around an area and drive back. But, I did it because Ed wanted to. Do I get brownies for that (no need for the points, just the brownies, thank you)?

The drive to where we will be living near Shaw Air Force Base was not bad. It only took us about three hours.

Apparently SC is a Baptist state. Every church we saw (and we saw a LOT of them) was Baptist. They all had cemetaries on their property too. That was weird. But, maybe we won't have a hard time finding a church.

We'll be in Sumter, SC (not really, but close enough). It's a very flat, rural area. There is a city there, but it's not much to speak of. People don't use their blinkers and they just pull right out in front of you with no warning. But I still kinda liked the area.

I typically like very hilly, green, slow, backwoods, mountain areas. BUT there was something that appealed to me about the area just northwest of the base.

Ed liked that we saw SEVERAL gun shops and lots of carwashes. Of course, he wasn't so thrilled when he learned that the reason for the carwashes was the dirt roads that are everywhere. :)

We will actually be in between Sumter proper and Columbia. That works out well. Sumter is close enough to do shopping and Columbia has a nice hospital with a good NICU (not that I'll need it). Columbia also has a cool zoo and my politician uncle, so...

Looks like the end of October is when we make our move. Yahoo!!!