re·form: (r-fôrm) v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms v. tr. 1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition. 2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n. (also m-mä) Informal. Mother.


An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

Or does it? I dunno.

Today was Apple Day at the local Farmer's Market. I was there too early to enjoy the festivities, but I did get to watch them setting all the apple samples and the DJ and all that stuff.

Even if I had been there later in the day when the festivities were going on, I doubt I would have stopped to enjoy them. I wsa on a mission today. I needed to find the cloudiest, darkest, most local-to-me honey that was there. I think I succeeded.

The past three days have been horrible for me. If you have seasonal allergies, then you can relate. If you don't consider yourself blessed. Everytime I've so much as thought about going outside my nose has gotten that itchy-think-I'm-gonna-sneeze feeling. That, of course, causes my eyes to water. Then I sneeze two or twelve times. Then my nose feels stuffy, but it's runny. And my sinuses hurt so bad that my teeth hurt.

I've been walking around with a tissue over my face as a preventive measure for three days now. I am over it.

Lucky me though, prescription drugs don't do diddly and the OTC stuff just makes me too sleepy to handle a one year old (plus I am still nursing). I've tried allergy shots before. Twice. They will only give me the shots for my bee allergy because that one is actually deadly. Nevermind that I can avoid bees but I can't avoid pollen and such. And who wants to go for a shot once a week? Really?

So I've decided to go the more natural route. Honey. I like honey. It's yummy on a hot buttery biscuit or in hot tea or on a Bugle corn chip or in oatmeal or by itself. It doesn't hurt and I know that all that's in the honey is, well, honey. No drugs, no wonky chemicals or anything. I don't have to pay the doctor and I don't have to sit in the doctor's office waiting to show them that I had no reaction to what they injected me with. And did I mention it tastes yummalicious?

My goal is to eat at least a tablespoon of honey each day. That should "bee" easy enough.


SC, Here We Come

Ed's deployment to SC starts in October. We'll be moving to SC soon!

We are hoping that Ed iwll get off-base housing. Financially, that's a better deal for us. Just him being active duty is a good move financially speaking. We'll have a regular paycheck. He's getting promoted soon which means more money. We'll have health insurance for almost no $$ to us.

So... while I hate to move AGAIN, I know it's a good thing right now.

And, as much as I hate to admit it... NC has been different this time around. Harder. It's still a great place to live. Don't get me wrong. It's just not like I remembered it.

My friends I used to be close with are not as close anymore. I have a son now, so I can't be as involved with stuff as I like to be. And I am as much of a hermit here as I was in FL because I don't wanna bother anyone.

I reckon I can be a hermit anywhere. Just don't make me go back to FL, okay?

Falling into Fall

I like fall. It's a nice time of year.

I get to eat good, hearty meals like chicken 'n dumplins and beef stew and I get to drink hot cocoa, hot tea and wassail. The leaves change colors. People seem nicer. The bees that I am sooooo allergic to disappear. And on and on and on.

It's just a nice time of year.

Except for one thing.


I happen to be one of the lucky people who, as my doctor so kindly put it, "is allergic to NC." Seriously, when he did the scratch test where he stuck me 57 times in my back and 20 times in each arm, every single stick swelled, indicating that I truly am allergic to everything that grows here in NC.

Loverly. Just loverly.

But nothing is blooming in fall, right? Everything is dying off, so there shouldn't be a problem, right?

Yeah, I wish. All that stuff that's dying is falling off and breaking into tiny little particles that the dry air is carrying right up my nose. GRRRR!!!!

So today I've walked around with a tissue covering my nose to try and prevent inhaling anymore allergens. I've run to the other room while Eddie was napping so that my sneezes didn't wake him. My teeth hurt because my sinuses hurt because of the dry air.

In short, I feel like dog mess. Not a good feeling at all.

And none of the prescription allergy drugs help me... at all. The OTC stuff like Benadryl only knocks me out for like two days. Can't do that with a 1 yr old. So, I get to tough it out. Joy Joy!

Just thought I'd share that, in case you were wondering how my day was. :)


Attacked During My Free Time

Today was a weird day.

First of all, Ed kicked me out of the house alone so I could have free time. Good thing too, I was about to kill him. (Just kidding babe! you know I love ya!)

Then, while out and about I was accosted TWICE by two different men in two different places.

The first happened while I was at the mall. I generally don't make eye contact with the people working the kiosks or who appear to be doing surverys. I don't want to waste their time or mine.

This guy, a "Rico Suave" type of guy though approached me even though I was doing my defensive arms-crossed, head-down walk. It was obvious that he thought he was all that and a bag 'o chips. He just didn't know that I already had a bag 'o chips at home scoring brownie points.

He said something that I couldn't understand and I didn't want to be completely rude so I asked him to repeat it. He asked to see my nails. Again, I was trying to be polite, so I showed him. He grabbed my hand and said something about wanting to pamper me. He had turned on all the charm, but I wasn't buying it. I told him I had to get home to my son. That was partly true. I did have to get home to Eddie -- after I made a few more stops.

I moved on and he went back to being bored, I suppose. I understand he has a job to do, but couldn't he be a little less "Rico Suave" while doing it. I left the mall feeling dirty.

After that I headed off to the grocery store. Cause you know that's what all us moms do in our "free time." I did my shopping and headed out to the car. I loaded the groceries and took my cart back like a *good* shopper. I was a little annoyed at the smell of cigarette smoke wafting through the air, ruining my perfectly good shopping trip, but otherwise I was just enjoying not having to chase after Eddie.

As I pushed my cart into the corral, a little old man approached me. I think I am actually bigger than he was. I'm not very big either at just 5'5" and somewhere between 110 and 120 lbs. So if I am bigger than he was, you can imagine how tiny he was.

Anyway, he started talking about how he was 84 years old and how he always watched young people park up close to the store, but he parked far away so he could get a little exercise. I told him, "I parked far away too."

I was thinking, "Great, accosted a second time today and this time it's cause I didn't park far enough away."

He said, "I know, that's why I am talking to you. It's good to get exercise. That's how I lived so long. I was in the war in the invasion of France... I started working the plow when I was 13 after my dad died... I see these young people now and it's no wonder our country is in the shape it's in... "

He was just talking about young people, his life and the war. I shared with him that my husband is military and he asked about that. Then he said he was proud to know young people still want to serve. He vented a little about the people who aren't very thankful for the military today, even though those same people enjoy numerous freedoms because of our military.

At one point he said he wanted to talk to me about Jesus. He said he forgets to count his blessings a lot and talking to people reminds him to do that. Remembering the war helps him to count his blessings.

He got a little choked up and shared about how his wife died a little over a year ago and how he's lonely now. He mentioned that his church is struggling and that is the reason he talks to people; he's lonely.

All in all, I was glad he stopped me. It was a reminder for me to be thankful for what I have. It also was a reminder of how closed off our society is to each other. I could rant on that for days, but Eddie's awake now, so I'll stop here.

Reading Doesn't Always Make You Smarter

Yeah, I've been at it again. I cna't help but read and attempt to gain all the possible information out there on the risks of pre-term labor and such.

Lately, becuase Ed really wants another bambino (i do too, but I'm more apprehensive), the whole baby thing has been on my mind. They say you should wait at least 18 months after delivery to get pregnant again. How would I handle another kid WITH Eddie? WHOA!!!!

Then there's the whole risk of pre-term delivery again. That's enough to send me into cardiac arrest. So, I read in hopes of finding information that will put my mind at ease. What did I learn today?

The shots that I will most likely have to be on are not usually covered by insurance. You can't get them at a regular pharmacy -- you have to go to a special pharmacy where they compound the stuff right there. And there are side effects to the weekly shot. These range from fatigue to mood swings (the shot is a hormone). Ummm... as if a pregnant lady who is at risk for pre-term delivery isn't already moody enough? There's also a risk of allergic reaction -- so severe that you get an epi-pen with the shots.

Oh my... I dunno about all this.

I know, I know... stop reading and trust. I'm trying. I promise. I dunno what it is in me that just HAS to know.

And then I have to admit that I am worrying about something that may not even happen.

In short, I need a chill pill, not a 17P shot.


Some Humor

While we were on vacation I noticed some things about living out west. There are certain requirements and these requirements are a bit comical to this southerner. I htought I'd share.

Western Requirements:
1. You must own a BIG American truck. Toyotas are unacceptable and wimpy. Cars are for yuppies.

2. You must own at least two horses and these horses must be better cared for than your house. Don't believe me? Just visit Jamestown or Green River, WY.

3. You must own an RV or a camper. At some point, this will become your main home. You will travel the countryside, never leaving Wyoming, and then decide to park your home for good someplace in the middle of nowhere.

4. Everyone wears a cowboy hat. Even the women wear 'em.

5. Along with the hat goes boots. You can't very well survive for long if you aren't wearing boots that protect your ankles from such things as scorpions and rattle snakes.

6. Guns, Guns and Guns. Everyone has at least one. And everyone has a gunrack in their truck or on their four wheeler. Seriously. Why? Because there's no tellin' when you might come into contact with an angry bear or when the Wyoming Car and Truck dealership may run a contest asking you to bring in your trophy buck. The prize for winning that contest was another gun. Seriously. I heard it on the radio.

7. You must wear Wrangler jeans. They are cheaper there than they are here, even though they are made here. That's supply and demand for you.

8. There are no democrats there. Democrats are shot on site (yet another reason for having a gun at all times). JUST KIDDING -- sort of. I really only saw signs and stickers that supported conservative things though.

9. You must have a ponytail, a mullet or both. Don't believe me? Just ask my brother-in-law who had one until he moved out here. HA HA!

So that sums up the great out west for ya. It's a pretty place, but it's another world altogether.

Fair & Balanced?

All my life I have tried to be as fair and balanced as possible. I don't want anything I don't deserve. I try to listen to the other side (even when I don't agree). I try to respond appropriately by keeping my emotions in check.

Sometimes I don't know exactly what is fair and balanced and what is the "right" response. That was really the point of my post two posts ago. What is the appropriate or "right" response when I am disappointed?

I think too often (and I am certainly speaking of myself here) we tend to put our emotions first without considering what is right and what is wrong. God gave us our emotions as a gift, but they are to be used to glorify Him. Unfortunately, because of our sinful nature, our emotions don't always line up with God's Will. What's worse is that we often tend to go with our emotions instead of God's Will because the emotions have such a strong pull.

I really could go on and on about this topic for hours. I'll spare you though and just recommend, The Religious Affections by Jonathan Edwards.

Just know that I really am trying to seek out the "right" response to things.


A Continuation

I am sorry if I offended anyone who does use the nursery. I tried to be careful about how I worded things so it would not come across like that. I certainly don't think badly about moms who use the nursery. My problem is with the thousands of people who have a problem with the fact that I DON'T use the nursery. Know what I mean?

Second, all I want is a speaker somewhere. I'm not the only mom who could make use of it. I could not care less if the speaker was in the broom closet or in the nursery (probably the best place for it). Just a speaker so that moms (nursing or not, kids in nursery or not) could hear the sermon while they are tending to the needs of their kids.

Third, I promise, if I didn't think or know that other moms would appreciate this, I would not even have asked. I wouldn't expect a church the size of Reavis to bend over to accommodate me.

No I feel horrible for even venting. Know what I mean? I don't want to stir anything up. I just can see the benefit and I am frustrated that no one seems to care.

Ho HUm.

Disappointed -- I Think?

I am not at all sure how to respond to a situation. I dunno if I'd even call it a situation, to be honest.

I know no one nurses their babies anymore and I know babies are "supposed" to go to the nursery during church and Sunday School, but I can't do either of those things and I feel like an outcast for it.

The mommy wars really really get old. I know pro-bf moms who say horrible things about moms who formula feed their kids and I know I've certainly gotten weird looks for still nursing Eddie. That's just not right.

And I'm sorry, but I can't bring myself to put Eddie in nursery. First of all, Ed and I both feel very strongly convicted about having Eddie in service with us. Secondly, Eddie is still a preemie. While he's not had the problems he could have had, I am not ready to expose him to a whole host of germs that could be lurking in the nursery. Thirdly, I don't think Eddie is ready for nursery.

So, every Sunday Ed and I go to church. Every Sunday one of us holds Eddie while he naps. No problem there. Then when he wakes up he may make a sound or two. The looks start. They say things like, "How DARE you keep your child in service?" and "Don't you know your son is interfering with the work of the Holy Spirit?"

Now, I know those ideas are pure rubbish (especially the last one) but the looks bother me.

So, either Ed or I will take Eddie out when he wakes up. That means one of us misses a chunk of the sermon. Our church has no speakers in the nursery or anywhere like that. The only place where there are speakers is downstairs where the director of the children's ministry is. If I need to nurse Eddie I can't very well just whip it out and nurse in front of the director, can I? He is a man and I would not want to do that.

I am not the only mom who has nursed at Reavis. I am not the only mom who is bothered by this. I appear to be the only mom who will speak up though. Even the moms who don't nurse could benefit. Moms who don't nurse still miss chunks of the sermon when they get called to the nursery to console their inconsolable child.

So, I've mentioned this issue to no less than five people who are in leadership at our church the necessity for a nursing mom's room. One person told me they would check into it. No response -- Ever. One person told me the speakers were disconnected in the nursery because it wsa too distracting to have the sermon being piped in (no comment). One person told me that speakers used to pipe the sermon into the foyer, but people complained about that.

The latest response bothers me most though. This person said, "I don't know what the answer is. Can you put Eddie in the nursery? I never experienced that because I just put my kids in the nursery so I could be fed because I was with my kids 24-7. I needed that God time."

I really wanted to cry then. I know she meant well, but it's not just about me and Eddie. Moms are missing out in a way. Just like that mom needed some God time, other moms do too. But the only answer is to stick the kid in nursery and not worry about it? That bothers me.

I don't know how to respond. Do I get mad? Probably shouldn't, but that's the flesh response I want to give. Do I cry? That's what I am on the verge of doing now. Do I keep pressing the issue? Do we leave to find a more family-friendly church? What do I do?

I haven't any idea. I just know that ignoring the needs of moms in a very reproductive church can't be a good thing.

PS -- If you attend Reavis, don't ask for names. I ain't talkin'. :)

Tag. I'm It.

I was tagged by Charlene to list my top seven favorite songs right now.

These are in no specific order:

1. It Is Well -- Selah
2. Glory -- Selah
3. Precious Lord/Just a Closer Walk with Thee -- Selah
4. I will Sing of My Redeemer -- Selah
5. Be Thou Near to Me
6. I am A Promise -- Veggie Tales
7. Great is Thy Faithfulness -- Selah

I tag:
and who ever else reads my blog because I only know of about two people who do read it. :)


Reveal Yourself.

I've noticed, thanks to Sitemeter, that I do have some lurkers here. I like to know who is reading, so if you are a lurker, reveal yourself. I'd love to hear how you found my little blog.

I'm also particularly interested in those who are local. You know who you are. :)


Somebody Smack Me. Please

We've been talking about another bambino. Shhhh... don't tell anyone.

The thought has me scared outta my gourd. And then I have thoughts like, "Awwww. Twins would be so cute and fun."

So please smack me. Smack me HARD. I can hardly handle Eddie, let alone two more INFANTS in addition to him. I must be losing my mind.

And NO, there are no bambinos in the works right now. We are too poor.



I have absolutely NO comment. LOL!

ed --

A level headed person who always makes the wrong decision

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at


Ever Feel Like a Heel?

I do. All the time. I don't fit in with a single person my age in real life. It's kind of tiring being the outsider all the time.

I dunno what *exactly* the problem is, but obviously the problem lies with me. I think I am nice. Everyone always tells me how sweet they think I am (stop laughing). I do tend to speak my mind somewhat freely. I do try to be tactful. I've been told that people are intimidated by me. That's just hilarious. Seriously. I don't know WHAT would be threatening about me.

Maybe I tell too many corny jokes. Or maybe it's my lack of fashion sense.


Self Esteem

This is a continuation of a thought I blogged last night.

Apart from Christ, we are NOTHING. Period. Your looks, your clothes, your intelligence doesn't matter a hill of beans in eternity.

Now, don't take that to mean that I find people to be of no value. Lost or found, we have value simply because GOD, creator of everything, formed us with his bare hands. He spoke everything else into existence, but he literally put his hands in the dirt to form us.

And let's not forget that Psalm 139 says he forms us in the womb. He knows us before we are thought of by our parents. If you take the number of grains of sand on the beaches, that's how often he thinks of us and we are but worms in the light of His Holiness.

THAT gives us value. Not the clothes we wear, our intelligence, our possessions, our beauty or anything else. We do not need SELF esteem that puts the focus on us and on how valuable we are.

Mankind is self-centered and prideful enough. Encouraging young people to take more pride in themselves based on their attributes will only lead to them viewing themselves as a god OR it will lead to them focusing on their failures and coming to the conclusion that they have no value. Both are false because they are based on an incorrect understanding of where the value of humanity stems from.

We need Christ esteem where the focus is placed on God's majesty and grace and love.

When we hold a proper view of God and of man, then we don't depreciate, we appreciate. We know that the value of a person is intrinsic, not because of the person, but because of the Creator.

A painting is just a painting unless it was painted by Picasso.


One more thought for the night...

Told ya I have a lot on my mind.

While on vacation, I came to the realization that I have become "soft." While I think it is beneficial and good to be tactful and kind when discussing things, I think most of us have a tendency to sugar coat things that really should not be sugar coated.

Sometimes the reality needs to be stated in a clear, concise way so that sin is not excused and neither are the ramifications of the sin.

So... Here are some thigns I am going to TRY (i like to be liked too) to stop sugar coating:
Homosexuality is a sin period.
Abortion is murder.
People are NOT born inherently good, rather we are born inherently sinful. Scripture says our hearts are wicked and deceitful, who can know it?
Apart from Christ, we are NOTHING. Period. Your looks, your clothes, your intelligence doesn't matter a hill of beans in eternity.
Apart from Christ, a person will spend an eternity burning in the firey pits of Hell -- because, yes, they deserve it.
We deserve the bad things that happen to us because of our inherent sinful nature. Good things that happen to us happen by the grace of God. This one is a hard pill to swallow if you focus on the first portion.
Don't dress your daughter like a street walker and then expect her to not end up pregnant at 16.
Don't dress like a street walker and expect your daughter not to.

I could go on and on, but those are just a few things where I tend to cushion the blow a little. And in reality, I may not ever say something quite as harsh as what I've written above, but I'm through with the whole, "it's okay, you're okay, let's all be friends" mess. Reality is that sin is NOT okay.

Decisions, Decisions...

Every sermon I hear lately seems to be related to the decisions we make and how important they are. I hate making decisions.

Right now Ed and I feel like we need to make a decision about our future (not marriage wise -- that's all good), but we have not a clue which way to go.

People say that if God allowed you to see the big picture in terms of the plans he has for you, you'd be petrified. I've heard God's Word referred to as a flashlight that lights just a few feet ahead of you so you know where to step but aren't afraid to take that step.

Right now, Ed and I feel as though our flashlights are almost dead. We can't see a centimeter in front of us and both of us have feet that are bigger than that. So... which way do we step?

I know, I know... be still, right? Well if you knew me, you'd know that was pretty close to impossible for me. I am not patient. I don't like surprises. I don't "do" suspense. And on and on.

The only time I've ever actually been still was when I was on bedrest and that was hard. I do things for myself, thank-you-very-much. To have Ed HAVE to cook for me was torture -- and not because he is a bad cook.

So, how do I "be still"? How am I to be still when there are decisions to be made yesterday? How do we take a step when we can't even see in front of our faces?

I dunno.

And I have to say that this whole idea of "knowing the will of God" kind of baffles me. I can know his will in reading Scripture. That is a guarantee. Other than that, I have to depend on the Holy Spirit and on my flesh to not misunderstand some ushy-gushy feeling as the Holy Spirit's prompting.

Who am I to think that I, a mere sinful WORM, should be entitled to know the will of God? God is God and I am not.

So Much To Say, So Little Time...

That's how I feel. I want to share more about our vacation. I want to share more about what's going on right now (which is a LOT).

I just don't even know where to begin. Perhaps it would be easier to just forget about some of the stuff and move on. Know what I mean?


Here Comes Trouble.

Literally. And Trouble is about 2' tall and weighs about 20 lbs.

Yeah, my son is so close to walking that I fear by the end of the week I will need a stiff drink.

He's been walking holding my hands since APRIL, folks. I was beginning to think he just wnated to hold my hand all the time and that he'd never walk.

Then he started scooting. I figured he'd enjoy scooting and chasing a scooting kid would surely be easier than chasing a running kid. I was sort of right. Chasing a scooter is not easy, but urely it's got to be easier than chasing a runner, right?

Lately, my little scooter boy has been cruising a LOT more and this evening he did a few faceplants because he wanted to let go and walk without holding onto anything. Little daredevil.

So, this is what I need. I need a helmet for a little boy. I need a good strong drink (like Dr. Pepper) and I need a good pair of running shoes. Eddie has been on the go since before day one. He was anxious to get here and he's anxious now to get everywhere.

Pray for me. :)


I've posted a new blog: A Candle For Mom. For various reasons I've decided to keep this very separate from that blog. Please stop in there. I'll be adding more info and pictures and updating the template too as time permits.



I am not at all in support of cloning. I think it's playing God and I don't see much good coming from that. That said, those individuals who may result from cloning are still people and still have souls and we should treat them as we would any other individual.

So why in the world am I talking about this? Well, I recently had to come to terms with the fact that I am married to a clone.

I had never actually met my father-in-law, but during our visit to Salt Lake City, I discovered that there was never any need for me to meet the person for whom my son and husband are named. My husband and my father-in-law are the same person.

Anyone hear banjo music?

My sister-in-law and my mother-in-law had both told me aboout how similar my dear, sweet husband and my father-in-law are, but I just chalked that up to chit chat and expected a few similarities. I did NOT expect to meet an older version of my husband.

While visiting my father-in-law and his wife, I had the opportunity to view pictures of my father-in-law from his younger days. I thought they were pictures of Ed III, not Ed II. I was wrong.

My father-in-law's wife, Sheri, and I compared notes.

Both Ed's use the term "liberal" as a slam against someone.
Both are perfectionists.
Both are radically conservative.
Both love the idea of living in an RV and travelling the country.
Both are the protector/provider type who are very proud of that fact.
Both tell corny jokes.

You get the idea. I know what you're thinking though. You're thinking, "Big deal. Ed III learned those traits from his dad." Nope. Think again. Ed II was not around a whole lot during Ed III's childhood and Ed III's parents divorced when Ed III was 11 years old. So... Personality must be hereditary.

Add to that the fact that my marriage license actually states that I am married to Ed II and not Ed III and the whole situation is just funny.

Now, I wonder if Ed IV is a clone of Ed II/Ed III or if my family's characteristics will be strong enough to influence the Ed genes. At any rate, I like being married to Ed III and having Ed IV as my son. Ed II is a nice guy, but he's a little too old for me.

San Diego

San Diego is a really pretty place. I had visited San Diego once before this last visit, but the idea that there are mountains AT the beach still astounds this east-coast girl. And because Californians are so far advanced when compared to us dumb southerners (sarcasm folks), they have some really cool gadgets and gizmos that are unavailable to me here in NC.

Let me tell you about the Wally World (aka Wal Mart). Now, no good, self-respecting southern housewife is gonna travel plumb all the way to the other side of the country without checking out the Wal-Mart. This is true, even if you are like me and you HATE Wal-Mart because it's always too crowded.

Anyway... The Wal-Mart in El Cajon (as in El Cahone, not El Cajun) has absolutely no parking. That's probably partly because the Wally World is attached to the MALL and no self-respecting San Diegan would allow themselves to be seen shopping at Wally World when there is a mall there full of overpriced stuff!!

Yes, that's right, Wally World is PART of the mall. AND, get this, it's two stories. To help you get your full cart from the bottom floor to the top floor, they had escalators installed. In between the up and down escalators was a special escalator that carried your grocery cart from floor to floor. It would be a redneck mom's dream come true. (no offense meant).

Their selection was no different than the Wally Wolrd here in NC, but it looked better and bigger.

However, the mountains at the beach and the Wal-Mart with it's grocery cart escalators are not enough to convince me to move out there. Pepole ar epiled on top of each other. The cost of living is outrageous. A house that would cost about $110K here costs about 4 times that much there. The mountains are pretty, but the ocean water is frigid. And then there's the traffic.

Holy COW!!! Is there traffic. It takes a special kind of person to drive in San Diego traffic. I am not that special. I'd become a hermit just because of the traffic.

So, all in all, San Diego is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.



Ed's Grandma, that is...

She's 92 and waiting. I won't say what she's waiting for; it's too heartbreaking.

Five years ago or so, Ed and I went to visit his grandparents and his mom. His grandpa was still alive and both Grandma and Grandpa were semi-active. As active as they could be at their ages.

Grandpa was a proud usher at their church and still drove them around. He grew up during the depression, so he was really thrifty. Ed, Grandpa and I went out one day for Ed's carne asade burrito. Grandpa decided to have one too. The things are HUGE. I think they put about a pound of beef in them. If you read two posts ago you'll read how big they are. Anyway... the burritos only cost a few bucks. We could see that Grandpa was full, but no way was he going to let any food go to waste. He ate the WHOLE thing.

And I'll never forget the day that Ed and I returned to the house to find 87 yr.-old Grandma climbing the Nectarine trees to pick the fruit. Of course we made her get down and we picked the fruit for her, but it was funny.

That visit was the last time we saw Grandpa. He passed away I think three years ago. Obviously, we have not been around Grandma much since we live on the other side of the states, but even in our phone conversations with her we've noticed a change. Those changes became painfully obvious to us during our visit.

She's no longer active and outgoing. She doesn't talk about the future anymore. She only talks about her friends who have passed on and about how she won't be around much longer. I don't think she says that because she is unhealthy. She appears VERY healthy. I think a part of her died when her husband of 65 years died.

It's just sad. We, of course, want her around for a long, long time. Her fingers have been pried off this world. It seems as though there's not much left here that she truly wants. She wants her husband. He's not here anymore.


Shameless Plug

Okay... Forgive me for this shameless plug.

I recently discovered Associate Content. Basically AC is a website where those who love to write can upload various pieces of their writing and get paid for it. The more you write, the more you get paid.

I was skeptical, so I only uploaded one article before we left for vacation. I was paid via PayPal for that article later that week. It's not much, but it IS money and the more I write (which I do anyway) the more I get paid. So... I figured why not? It's some income -- for something I do daily anyway.

They also offer various contests and such so that you can win bigger prizes.

Right now they are hosting a contest for content producers. Basically, the writer who convinces the most people to publish something on AC this month wins a prize.

There's my shameless plug. I'm not proud of myself for that, but... :)

Our Vacation

I'll just give a brief run-down here of our trip. I call it a vacation. It's the only one we've had since our honeymoon over four years ago and boy was it nice to not have to worry about dinner, house-cleaning (sort-of) bills, being unemployed, etc...

Later, I'll go back and discuss some fo the interesting things I learned and observed while we were "out west." I'll also post pictures later.

Day One: Travel day. I got very little sleep Friday night. I went to sleep around 11, woke up at 2:30 AM and we left the house at 4 AM to drive all the way to Raleigh.

Eddie did well in the car and on the plane. He liked looking out the window and several other passengers commented that they did not even know there was a baby on board. Yeah, I'm a little bit proud of my boy. :)

We arrived in San Diego around 10:30 AM PST -- three hours behind my standard time. We spent that day visiting with Ed's mom and Grandma.

Ed loves Mexican food -- especially the mexican food in CA. That night we had carne asade burritos. Now let me just tell you that this burrito is not for the weak. It's about 9-10 inches long and a good 5-6 inches in diameter. IT'S HUGE!!! and it only costs a few bucks.

The burrito only has seasoned beef strips (think fajita meat) and guacamole. Salsa is optional. No lettuce, tomato or cheese. Just beef. I had never had one before and while the flavor was good, that was just too much meat for me.

Day Two: Sunday. Church day. We went to Skyline Church -- Ed's mom's church. It's very very contemporary and very different from our little country church. They have a coffee cart set up outside where members can buy coffee before service. Think Starbuck's. They also have a "cry room" complete with closed-circuit television. Oh, what I wouldn't give for my small country church to have just a cry room with a speaker in it!

After church we ate at Bonny's Cafe. That was Ed's grandpa's favorite place to eat. The last time we visited there (about 5-6 years ago) we ate there with the fam. So being there again, this time without Ed's grandpa was kind of sad. It was even sadder when Ed's grandma, who is 92 or 93, started talking to one of the waitresses who has been there forever about how Grandpa died.

We went home and enjoyed an afternoon siesta and then spent the evening at Sea Port Village.

For dinner we went to the same Mexican restaurant so Ed could have ANOTHER carne asade burrito. This time I tried the bean and cheese burrito. Same problem - too much of a good thing.

Day Three: Labor Day. We went to the place where Ed's grandpa is buried; FT. Rosecrans National Cemetary. Needless to say, it was an emotional morning.

Ed's grandparents had been married for like 65 years when Grandpa passed away 3 years ago. I can't imagine losing Ed and we've only been married for four years.

We went "home" and relaxed some more. Dinner was the BEST pizza I'd ever had.

Day Four: We were supposed to leave San Diego this day, but Ed was kinda under the weather, so we decided to stay an extra day. No biggie, since we are both unemployed bums, right?

Ed's mom had to work so we spent the day with Grandma. We watched about 3 episodes of Bonanza and one or two episodes of Little House; Grandma's favorite shows.

We decided Grandma needed to get out more so we went to get lunch. Grandma and I shared a quesadilla that was about as big as my abdomen and Ed had yet another carne asada. Then we took Grandma out for a Slurpee. She had never had one.

That night, Eddie fell out of the bed at like 1 AM and was not at all happy. We got up at 4 AM the next morning to leave for Salt Lake City.

Day Five: Travel Day. This day was pure HELL. Sorry. There is no other word. We left around 5 AM and arrived in SLC around 10 PM.

Eddie did NOT like being in the carseat for so long. He was cutting TWO more teeth and didn't sleep well the night before.

The traffic was hellacious through CA -- even at 5 AM -- until we got to the Mojave. Then, while gas prices are dropping everywhere else, in Barstow, CA they are apparently rising. We paid $3.33 per gallon.

Day Six: Ed's dad had to work so we spent the day with Ed's step-mom and the three poodles. Basically we rested from our travels.

Dinner was Mexican food.

Day seven: Ed's dad got off work early so we went to see the Mormon Hub. I don't mean that offensively. It's more than just the temple, so... I have to write on that alone later. Absolutely amazing.

While we were walking around the grounds there Eddie simply fell asleep with no fighting or screaming or anything. He has NEVER EVER done that.

Day Eight: We were going to leave this day, but wanted more time with Ed's dad.

Ed was going to rent a small plane and take his dad up, but the prices were too high. Ed's dad wanted me, a good southern girl, to get my share of grits so they took us to Cracker Barrel.

Then we spent time at the Air Force Museum at Hill AFB near Ogden.

I did note that Ed and his dad -- Ed II -- are soooooo similar that it's scary. More on that later.

Day Nine: Travel Day. I found another place I want to live; Coalville, UT. Breathtaking.

Ed showed me around Green River, WY and Rock Springs, WY -- where he grew up. These places also deserve a post of their own.

Then we mosied on over to Cheyenne -- there is nothing inbetween Rock Springs and Cheyenne. I'm not exaggerating at all. Seriously.

From Cheyenne we drove to Sidney, Nebraska and stopped for the night. Interesting town; all twelve people there. :)

Day Ten: That morning we got up bright and early and spent most of the day driving through NE. There's nothing but corn there.

And we foudn it funny that the welcome to NE sign said "Home of Arbor Day." There were no trees there at all.

We stopped in Gothenberg, NE to see one of the original Pony Express Offices. That town was founded by Swedes and is home to a silo (?) that holds the corn that goes to Frito Lay for making their corn chips.

We stopped for the night in Columbia, Missouri where we had the best restaurant service ever.

Day Eleven: We left Columbia around 7 AM and drove and drove and drove and drove. We got home around 1:30 AM last night.

We only stopped to tinkle and to eat. I only got drive by shots of the Arch.

Eddie did great though.

I'm glad to be home, but sad too. Reality is too rough. I don't want to deal with things right now.


I'm Baaaack!

I'm back.

LOTS AND LOTS to blog about.
Tons of laundry to do.
Housework to do.
And still more to blog about.

Maybe tonight.


Until next week.

I doubt I'll be back online until sometime after next Sunday. We leave EARLY in the morning for the airport to catch our plane to San Diego.

We will stay a few days with Ed's grandma and mom and then head on up to Salt Lake City to see his dad. Then, we'll head home -- hopefully making a stop in Iowa to visit ne of my "imaginary" online friends.

Have a wonderful week. And, if you don't mind, pray that Eddie does well on the flight and on the road trip and that we are safe.


Selah is my absolute most favorites group in the entire world. Their music is amazing and is done in such a spirit of worship that you can't help but praise God. Not because of their music necessarily, but because their music point to the Glory of God.

I am a lyrics kinda gal. I do prefer more mellow music, but if the lyrics are wishy washy and not theologically sound, I get side-tracked. Yep, I am THAT anal. Anyway...

Ed bought Selah's newest CD for me for my birthday the other week. It's called Bless the Broken Road. The third song on the CD is my favorite. I thought I'd share the lyrics here because they just deserve to be blasted everywhere. Again, not because fo the song or songwriter or anything, but because of WHO GOD IS.

Glory -- written by Nichole Nordeman

One day, eyes that are blind
will see You clearly
One day, all who deny will finally believe
One day hearts made of stone will
break in pieces
One day chains, once unbroken,
will fall down at your feet

So we wait
For that one day
Come quickly, we want to see your...

Every knee falls down before Thee
Every tongue offers you praise, with
every hand raised
Singing Glory
To You and unto You only
We'll sing Glory to your name

One day, voices that lie will all be
One day all that's divided will be
whole again
One day death will retreat, and
wave it's white flag
One day love will defeat the
strongest enemy

So we wait
For that one day
Come quickly, we want to see your...

Every knee falls down before Thee
Every tongue offers you praise, with
every hand raised
Singing Glory
To You and unto You only
We'll sing Glory to your name

repeat chorus
We know not the day or the hour,
or the moments in between
But we know the end of the
story... when we'll see your...

repeat chorus


Can you imagine no more division in the universal church because we are all so caught up in God's glory? Can you imagine no more death or lies? Can you imagine what it will be like for those who don't know Him to finally realize how wrong they were -- or that no one cared enough to share the truth with them?

It makes me think of my family. If I had the ability, I'd save them and change them and "fix" them. I can't do that though, so... until they are changed, I'll wait to see God's glory in all it's splendor.