re·form: (r-fôrm) v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms v. tr. 1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition. 2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n. (also m-mä) Informal. Mother.


Here's the latest.

We are moving Saturday! This means I am packing up the house ALL by myself. Well, actually, that's not true. Eddie is here and helping. He helps by taking stuff OUT of the boxes before I tape them shut.

Yeah, we are having LOADS of fun here.

AND... I have to vent. Can anyone tell me the EASIEST way to log onto this beta blogger thingy? Seriously. It's driving me MAD! I have to log in like 4 times!!!!!!

You have about a week and a half to post the easy way to log in. I won't be back online until sometime after the end of next week.


Crafty, Me? Nah... Just Cheap.

Yesterday I actually ventured out -- at like 4 PM. I had to run to Hobby Lobby for a wax thermometer.

I'm cheap and I like to attempt to make cool presents. So this year I decided that the adult women will be getting candles. The men will be getting cookies and other homemade treats. The kids will, for the most part, be getting a variety of mostly non-homemade treats -- but only stuff that I got a REALLY good deal on.

Anyway... While I was wandering around Hobby Lobby I noticed these CUTE painted canvases. They were very girlie and had a script-y type initial painted on them. They were too high-priced for me though. I figured they can't be too hard to make so I marched myself back to the pinting area and picked up a pack of 3 canvases for $3 and some change. Then I noticed the canvases were 30% off. Perfect. I picked up some more paint (I already had gobs at home) and I was on my way.

I started working on the canvases last night. Today I went out and bought some ribbon to hang the canvases with and then I completed the first "initial" canvas for my neice Megan. I'm no artist, but I think this turned out decent. It's not anything super amazing or anything like that, but it's cute. AND, the ones in the store didn't have the pretty ribbon. So... I say this works for me. The girls under 10 in my family will be getting these.


Haunted Holidays

I'm not talking abot Halloween today. I'm talkng about the traditionally festive and joyous holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. For many of us the typically festive holidays are also haunted.

For us, the joy and excitement that we feel while watching our child stare at the lights on the Christmas tree or while enjoying the warmth that comes from having good friends and families gathered around is often accompanied by a swift, strong undercurrent of deep sadness. This sadness has the ability to carry us away and to steal any happiness we may feel during this time of the year. Indeed, for some, this undercurrent is strong enough to steal our very life.

We are haunted. Some are haunted by things that we said or did to someone; horrible, mean things. Some are haunted by tragic sins that were committed against them; things like rape and abuse and adultery. Some are haunted by the loss of a loved one or by a broken relationship. Some are haunted by one thing and others are tormented by many.

Personally, I've had a lot of things happen that I could be haunted by. The molestation doesn't haunt me though. It hurts at times, but it doesn't haunt me. The abuse I suffered at the hands of a boyfriend doesn't haunt me. It makes me angry sometimes though. Those things were horrible and I recognize that, but I am bullheaded enough and have been blessed with an abundant amount of grace so that those things haunt me no more.

There are two things that haunt me though.

Every holiday I think about my family. I htink about how a family should be and how mine is not like that. I think about how I would absolutely LOVE to have a relationship with either of my parents that would make me want to call them FIRST when something wonderful or tragic happens. I would LOVE ot be able to say I am a daddy's girl or that my mom and I are so close that we are like sisters. I'd give anything to have my brothers and their families nearby so my son could know his uncles and cousins. And I'd give ANYTHING to know my mom was safe and alive.

These are the things that haunt me. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas and Mother's Day adn Father's Day.

I have no bullheadedness to contribute to overcoming these things. I can only rely on God's grace. That's a good thing, but it's also a very hard thing. See, I am one of those people who has to FIX everything. I can't fix these things. I have to accept them. I HAVE no choice but to entrust my family (and their salvation) to God. This is near impossible for me to do.

Imagine telling Emeril that he could no longer cook and that he had to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken everyday.

Or telling Jeff Gordon that he could no longer race, but that he had to drive an old, beat up, rusted out Pinto.

That's what it's like for me to not be able to fix my family. That's what it's like for me to not know where my mom is and to not be able to track her down. That's what it's like to watch my dad smoke himself into a grave. That's why the festive holidays are also haunted holidays for me.

I look forward to the days when no day is haunted and every sadness is overshadowed by the Glory of our Lord. What a day, glorious day that will be.



So after my last whiney post I decided I should post what I am thankful for, ya know, bing that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and all that jazz.

1. God's grace. Truly, I shudder to think about where I would be without God's grace. And He bestowed His grace upon me because of who He is, not because of anything I did to receive that. How could I not be thankful? How could I not stand in awe? How could I not worship Him?

2. My husband. Ed is absolutely amazing. I have no idea how he stands to live with me. If I were him, I would have run away screaming years ago. But, Ed is a man of his word and he promised to love me until death do us part. I believe him. Now granted, having to put up with me day in and day out may drive him to an early grave, but still...

3. My son. The thought of him just brings a smile to my face. He's THE cutest little boy around. (I hope that's not too horrible to think.) He laughs and talks and is about to walk and is doing all the things that boys his age should be doing. He's even doing some things he shouldn't be doing. While I absolutely hated the morning sickness and then the bedrest and pre-term labor medications, I would absolutely do it all over again for Eddie.

4. Provision. We have been provided for so many times when we thought we were at the end of the line. We've never *had* to worry about the food we eat or the clothes we wear or the place we live. That doesn't mean we haven't worried; we did because we lacked faith. BUT, God was faithful and like He cares for the birds and for the lilies, He has cared for us -- even moreso.

Those are the biggies for me. What are you thankful for this season?


Just gonna vent about a few things.

1. Last night the Weather Channel said it was going o get up to a balmy 52 degrees today. They lied. It's only 43 right now -- at 2:30 PM. The wind chill is 35. It's sooooo windy that when I went to Cook Out (a local YUMMilicious fast food joint) the wind almost blew my bag of food right outta my hand. I am so not kidding.

2. Blogger Beta. I switched because I always had gobs of messages telling me how much better it would be if I switched. They lied too. I have to log in fifteen times each time I come here. Can I go back?

3. Because of the weather I don't think Ed will be able to make it home tonight.I hope I am wrong.



I am FAR-EEEEEEEZZZZING! It's been cloudy all day and raining since about 3 PM. The Weather Channel says that it's only supposed to get down to 40 tonight. I think they are crazy. It's already about -2 outside.

AND we are under a flood watch and a high wind advisory.

I WAS excited about the weather because according to the old wives tales, we were supposed to be getting WINTER weatehr -- as in snow. DH, the Air Force meteorologist told me we wouldn't get snow, but I chose to ignore him. Surely the lady in Big Lots who told me about the birds she saw flocking towards the South knows more about weather than a meteorologist, right?

I am totally not one for cold weather. I grew up in FL. I feel comfortable when it's 85 degrees out with about 80% humidity. It's better for my sinuses and it's just so relaxing.

Snow's okay, as long as it doesn't last too long. And any cold weather after Jan. 1 is just wrong.

I actually hate Valentine's Day, but I look forward to it because it signals the coming spring.

So, given all that, I am officially in winter survival mode. I'll be pleasant until Jan. 2, then I get grumpy. My eating will increase greatly, not because of the holidays, but because eating keeps me warm. I will not be going outside unless I am walking to or from the already-warmed-up car. I will be fully armed with tissues and lotion and chapstick at all times due to the dry air. And, I will begin sacrificing fashion for the sake of being warm.

Happy Winter. :)


Prematurity Awareness Day

Hey there!

I thought I'd share with you that Nov. 14, 2006 (that's tomorrow, or maybe today, depending upon when you are reading this) is National Prematurity Awareness Day. I thought I'd share with you some statistics and some specific ways that you can be in prayer today and in the future.

One out of every 8 babies was born prematurely in 2004. If you think about all the babies born at Reavis and how many (by my count at least 3) have been born too soon, it kind of puts these numbers into perspective.**

The rates of preterm delivery continue to climb in spite of new medical technology. Prematurity does not discriminate. You can be among the healthiest of women and still deliver prematurely.

The thing is that no one talks about prematurity. Expectant parents don't think about it -- and who can blame them? If you've never had a preemie or known anyone who had a preemie, then there is no reason it would cross your mind. BUT, I believe knowledge is power (yeah I stole that line from Schoolhouse Rock). That's why I am sharing this with you.

There are certain risk factors that contribute to preterm labor. Among these factors are things like smoking, increased stress levels, obesity, and lack of social support. There are also numerous signs of preterm labor. You can read about those on the March of Dimes Website at

Perhaps if an expectant mom that you know is made aware of the risk factors and signs of preterm labor, her labor can be stopped and she will be able to carry to term. So, pass this information along to your pregnant friends.

Now, as to how you can help. Of course, you can donate money to the March of Dimes. That's a wonderful thing to do as they fund a great deal of research towards preventing not only prematurity, but stillbirth and birth defects.

You can also lend a hand to moms who are on bedrest. Bedrest just stinks. Your house is never clean enough, you have to eat your husband's cooking and your are home alone most of the time with nothing to do but worry. If you know a mom on bedrest, just stop by and visit or give her a call to let her know you are thinking of her. Those little things will help get her through the bedrest.

BUT, the most important thing you can do is pray. One thing I learned with Eddie is that God's timing is perfect. It may seem quite whacked out to us and we may not always understand it, but God is God and we are not.

You can pray specifically for:

The moms on bedrest and who deliver preemies: Pray for moms to have peace about God's timing. God knit each one of us together before we were even a thought in our mother's mind. That's no different for preemies. Knowing that gave me such peace when I was in the hospital. Pray that they would have strength to endure the bedrest and the ability to be joyful after the birth of their child -- even if they have a preemie. Pray that the mothers would have the wisdom to know how to handle their preemie and what their child needs.

The preemies: They are such fighters -- Eddie is proof of that -- but they are still quite fragile. The health problems that preemies are at risk for can range from blindness to anemia to apnea of prematurity. Some of these health risks can be deadly. Additionally, after the preemies come home from the hospital they are at a higher risk for catching illnesses that present as the comon cold in adults and older children, but that can be deadly for preemies. Preemies are also at risk for developmental and learning delays. Pray for a hedge of protection around them.

The doctors: Pray for them to have the wisdom and knowledge as to how to treat the mothers when attempting to stop preterm labor. Pray for the NICU doctors to be gentle with the parents and also for wisdom. And pray for the NICU nurses. These nurses are truly a special breed. They see a lot of suffering among the most "innocent" people and they continue to do their jobs with a smile on their faces. They also are used to minister to the parents; whether or not they intend to. Pray that they would have strength to continue with what I would say has got to be the most difficult job on the planet.

I think I've made you plenty aware now. Sorry for the novel. I do hope that you will keep this information in mind and that it will be beneficial to you or to someone you know.

**Reavis is my home church -- this was an email I sent out to the ladies there.


A Little Background

Thought I'd share a little about how I landed in Seminary; more than just God called me to go, so I went.

Growing up I wanted to be an astronaut and then a veterinarian. The only problem with those careers was that they required the ability to think with a scientific mind. That part of my brain was left out. I do not understand physics or mechanics or chemistry. I could probably pass a course in those subjects, but not wihtout lots and lots of tears.

Don't believe me, just ask Ed. He's VERY intelligent in those areas and he's tried explaining simple concepts to me dealing with aerodynamics and I ended up in tears. That stuff just makes NO sense to me.

Sometime during middle school or early high school, I figured that out. I also had discovered two other passions; music (I played the trombone) and writing. By the end of my stint in high school I had determined I would obtain a college degree in music education and then I would end up in the mountains of NC working a sa songwriter.

I was going to start out as a high school band teacher. The problem was that I had neither the discipline or the talent to make a living as any sort of musician. So, I switched my major to English education. I wanted to teach high school language arts. I love reading and diagraming sentences. Yes, I know the latter officially qualifies me as a geek, but I'm okay with that.

About the middle of my second year of college I had a scary thought. I would be only 20 years old when I graduated from college. If I taught high school, my students would be just a few years younger than I was. So, I changed majors again. This time I changed my major to Mass Communications with an Emphasis in Print Journalism. That's the degree I graduated with.

Yes, I know my writing on here is rarely grammatically correct, but this is a blog -- not anything that anyone actually reads for grammatical correctness.

My goal then was to become a copy editor. There is just something exciting about taking a written piece of work and tweaking it until it is absolutely perfect. I knew that I would also be required to have knowledge of page layout and design so I took a course or two in that.

As graduation approached I found myself absolutely terrified that I would have no job and no way to pay off all $4500 of my student loans. I ended up taking the first job I was offered.

You know Val-Pak, the blue envelopes you get in the mail with all the coupons? I worked for them designing ads on second shift. I learned a great deal while there, but it was in FL and I just had to leave there.

I ended up in NC working for a company that publishes in-flight magazines for several airlines. I was the promotions coordinator. I learned all about the printing process and more about the graphic design programs I had been using. My boss was absolutely wonderful. The company was a strong company. I was paid well and I had good benefits. I was on my way to an art director position for one of the smaller publications. All in all, it wsa a wonderful experience.

It wasn't "it" though. Who cares if ads get printed in magazines? Really, how does that impact eternity? It may somehow, for some people, but in my estimation, it didn't and I simply could not live working a job that meant nothing in eternity.

I started looking at my options. During my senior year of college I had taken the LSAT and I had done well. I was going to study communications law, but couldn't afford to even apply to law school. I started looking at law again. This time though, I thought about child advocacy law. That's certainly a worthwhile profession and it's something I would have loved to do. The only school in the area with a program in that specific area was Duke.

Now, I am certainly no Duke fan, but if they weren't so pricey, I might have considered attending there. So now I had to look at some other career. I decided to look into social work. I have always had a heart for the poor; specifically for educating them so that they could improve their situations.

In social work though, you have to deal with a lot of pretty horrible stuff and I would venture to guess that as a government employee, I probably would not have been able to share the Gospel. So, scratched that idea.

Next idea lead me right back where I started; education. Problem: teaching in public schools would tie my hands too much. I know there are some wonderful, Godly teachers out there, but I'm not one to keep my mouth shut when I see things being done that are wrong. I probably would have been fired within a month.

I kept praying and praying and praying. Through a series of "coincidences" *wink, wink* and prayer and soul-searching I felt the call of God on my heart. Ministry was to be my career.

That call landed me at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary studying for a master's degree in counseling.

I'll expand on my thoughts on counseling and things I learned in a later post.

Remember The OJ Simpson Chase?

Friday Ed asked me and Eddie to come to SC to visit him. Of course, I was happy to do so, especially considering that Eddie had done so well on my last trip to Charlotte.

I quickly learned though that the trip to Charlotte was a fluke. Eddie was madder than a firecracker and twice as hot. Boy, he did NOT want to be in that carseat and he was gonna make sure all of I-85 knew it.

Finally, the boy fell asleep. Praise God. I am sure I would have crashed had I had to drive through Charlotte listening to him scream.

After he fell asleep, my mind wandered. I thought to myself, "Ya know, if for some reason a cop decides he wants to pull me over, I'm not sure I will stop." This thought immediately brought back visions of OJ's famous Ford Bronco Chase. At that point I would have MUCH rather dealt with 178 police cars chasing me down the interstate than to risk waking Eddie up.

Right about the time I had that thought I heard something. Police sirens. I looked and the police car was flying up behind me with his lights just a flashin'. I had three thoughts.

1. I didn't do anything.
2. Get over in the next lane.
3. If this cop wakes up my boy, he's gonna have ME to deal with and that won't be pretty.

Eddie stayed asleep for a few minutes longer. Longer for me to make my way down I-77 and into Rock Hill, SC. I only almost got in an accident once. That's hard to believe considering that Charlotte has about the worst traffic i have EVER seen in my life and that they apparently have NO requirements for getting a driver's license in SC.

I'm not sure I will like driving in SC. I think when you get your tags there they install a lead brick on your gas pedal and they break your turn signals.

At any rate, we made it down there and back safely. Eddie enjoyed his time with daddy and I got a bunch of really cool used books for just a few bucks. What more could a girl ask for?


What's That Kid Worth?

Ed got his orders yesterday and today he was in SC. I'll spare you the ridiculous details of his current housing. Just know that the amount of beaurocratic red tape and just flat out dumb rules never cease to amaze me.

I will share one of these idiotic rules though because it's so dumb it's hilarious. Ed's in on-base housing right now. Basically it's a dorm room with a private bathroom. If he wants his family to live there (yeah, a family is gonna live in one room and do dishes in the bathroom sink) he can pay $75 for a pet deposit AND, this is the kicker, a $75 kid deposit.

Nope, not joking. How wild is that? thank God the privately-owned world does not require kid deposits.


A Day For The History Books

Or at least for the baby book.

My dear, sweet little boy was just full of surprises today. He's kind of left me wondering if that whack on the head maybe did some damage. LOL!

Poor thing, yesterday he was all snotty and yucky. Then while I was looking up the correct Dimetapp dosage for him the stinkin' coffee table jumped up and bit him right under his eye! Can you believe that? Our coffee table has always been well behaved. ;) So then the boy had a snotty nose and a HUGE, I mean HUGE welt and a nasty shiner under his eye. He was truly pathetic.

I gave him the Dimetapp and he drifted off. Of course, we had several nightwakings. I don't think those will EVER end. But the history making started way early. Too early, if you ask me.

My son, who happens to love his sleep (just like his daddy) and who very rarely wakes up before 9 AM (yes I know I am blessed -- I prayed for him to not be a morning person) decided to wake up at 6:50 AM!!! WHAT???!!! Up until today, I thought Eddie was unaffected by Daylight Savings Time. Reckon I was wrong.

We had planned to drive to Charlotte today to see Ed and to get our active duty military ID cards. I was really dreading taking my son (who did not sleep as long as normal and who had a snotty nose and a shiner and who absolutely DESPISES his carseat) all the way down to Charlotte. That's a good hour and a half drive -- if traffic isn't wonky. But it's Charlotte and the traffic is ALWAYS wonky.

Against my better judgement, I loaded the boy up and off we went. Do you know, the boy did not even fuss. AT ALL. I'm not joking. This is the same boy (I think) who gets mad when we get in the car to go to the grocery store that is 5 minutes away.

AND -- There was no traffic! Well, there was some, but this was NOT normal I-85 traffic. There were no accidents and no crazy drivers and no delays.

So all that was well and good and it made me very happy, but the true test would be seeing Eddie around Ed's co-workers and then, the dreaded drive home.

Uhhh... Eddie let Ed's superior (a woman who is about 38ish) hold him and walk with him and play with him. FOR AN HOUR!!!! Eddie does NOT like strangers. AT ALL. He is usually stuck right on my hip when new people are around.

So by this point, I am already shocked and awed by my little boy. I could tell he was getting tired and I knew traffic was gonna be hairy. I loaded the boy up and we set off, bound for home.

My little sweetheart is not one who just falls asleep. He is one of those kids that won't just cry it out for five minutes, then roll over and go to sleep. He will scream it out for 6 hours, then when you finally pick him up he falls asleep as soon as he hits your arms. And half the time, he even fights sleeping in your arms. I am so not kidding. That's why I have bags under my eyes.

Anyway. He was a little fussy when we first left. I knew he was tired and I figured I'd have to pull over somewhere to nurse him and let him nap. I thought I'd at least get as far away from Charlotte as possible though before I pulled over.

I got on 85 and started clicking along and I looked in the mirror only to see my boy's eyes drifting downward. NO WAY!!! The boy went to sleep without screaming, without nursing, without being held and IN HIS CARSEAT THAT HE HATES!!!!

I almost had to pull over because I thought I was going to pass out from shock. Seriously.

I tell ya, the boy never ceases to surprise me.


Dirty Little Secrets

I have a few dirtly little secrets. Compared to some people, I'm sure my secrets aren't all THAT bad. But, they are still my little secrets. They are so secret that I'm even gonna share a few.

1. I have days like today when I don't do my makeup or even get out of my jammies. Oh the horror!!!

2. I gave up listening to secular music for the most part several years ago. Most of it is just too vulgar -- even the stuff the rest of society would deem "clean." HOWEVER, I absolutely LOVE George Strait. He has got the most amazing voice and I love that he doesn't try to sing country pop. He just sings country.

3. Kind of going along with #2, I really don't watch TV. We don't have cable and we get no channels in on our TV. That's not a bad thing. We do watch movies though. And one of my favorite movies is Pure Country, with George Strait. I also like Sweet Home Alabama, though that's probably got some stuff in it too that I should not watch.

4. I sometimes eat cereal for dinner when Ed is not home.

5. I listen to *gasp* talk radio more than I do music when I am in the car. If I can't get a good talk show, then I listen to preaching. Last choice is music.

6. I can eat a whole medium pizza by myself and sometimes I do.

7. I hate changing diapers. I actually gag when I have to change Eddie. Heaven help me when/if I get pregnant again while Eddie is still in diapers. Between the morning sickness and the diapers I won't be able to keep anything down.

8. I am a voyeur. I like to watch people. Not when they are doing anything private. Just in general. I observe people at church and in my neighborhood. It's entertaining.

9. I like M&Ms on my pizza and in my popcorn.

10. I like having the bed to myself when Ed is not home. Man that's heaven.

It's About Time.

Yesterday Ed told me that his superior at his Guard Unit had receive an official email from the base in SC. The OFFICIAL email read something like this:

Here is the information you need to prepare the orders for SSGT. ________. This is the UNOFFICIAL information though, so please wait to receive the OFFICIAL information before you begin to prepare the orders.

Gotta love the govt.'s organization. LOL!

Anyway... Ed called me today. He has orders. The SC base wants him there tomorrow to start, but seeing as how his orders are being drawn up today and THEN he has to out process from his unit and I still need to get my active duty military ID, he won't be leaving for SC until Thursday. Then we will see him again when we move.

At least it's a step in the right direction.


Told Ya So.

It's been confirmed, Eddie is indeed a genius.

I told ya so, just like I told the NICU nurses that my son is not a wimpy white boy.

Today was Eddie's 15 month check up. He's is now in the 10th percentile for weight and height. Not bad for someone who started out at a measley 2 lbs. He does like to eat. :)

Developmentally, he is caught up with his peers -- according to his actual age, not his adjusted age. They gave me the little checklist thingy to see what all he was doing. they told me to only bother with the 12-15 month section, but I read ahead anyway. Can't help it; it's in my nature to read ahead. :)

I have to say, my boy is doing nearly all the stuff on the 18 month checklist and several things on the 2 yr. old checklist and even a few things on the three yr old checklist. Now, some of those things are things like, asserts his own will and has temper tantrums. But others, like naming body parts and pointing to objects when I call them out are also "advanced" activities that Eddie does.

Yeah, I know I'm bragging. And I know that all kids develop at different rates. But I'm my son's mom. Doesn't that entitle me to automatic, extensive bragging rights and delusional thoughts about my son being the most famous genius doctor who comes up with a cure for cancer?



Today at church we prayed for a man who has cancer. We prayed for him to be healed. I absolutely believe that is within God's ability. Whether or not it's in His will for this man to be healed on Earth or in Heaven is a completely different story.

While we were praying I could not help but think of a woman who was sitting with her son across the aisle from me. I imagine that she and her children cried out to God many times for her husband to be healed from cancer. I cannot even begin to imagine how they felt when he was ultimately healed. Her husband passed away this past spring. Surely, it was a bit emotional for her to watch the church pray over someone else who has cancer.

This woman though is an absolute inspiration to me. I've seen others lose a spouse to cancer well after their children were grown and these other people sort of fell apart. They became angry and distant. Not this woman though. She has remained strong and steady. I'm sure that's mostly for her childrens' sake. But she's been a living testimony of God's grace to me and to many others in the church.

She's left raising two daughters and a son alone. She doesn't complain or anything like that. She's more or less accepted what has been given to her and with that, she's accepted the grace to bear this burden. Surely that's got to be an amazing salve for a hurting soul.

I think I could take a few lessons from her in accepting what I've been dealt.

My Little Genius

Okay, I really can't say for sure that Eddie is a genius, but as an *ahem* objective observer, it is my professional opinion that his IQ does indeed place him in the genius category. AND, my dad's wife told me last night that Eddie is a genius. So it's NOT just me who thinks this.

He is 13 months adjusted (15 months actual age) and already he is just blowing my mind. He knows where his head and nose are. Simply amazing. It absolutely does not matter to me *at all* that when I ask where his nose is he sticks his finger IN his nose. :)

Now, I have no earthly clue when children are supposed to begin to identify body parts and quite frankly I don't really care. I just know my boy is special because he can identify some of his.

Actually, nearly everything he does (even pooping in the tub) makes me just feel like I'm gonna pop with pride.

I've been proud of stuff in the past, like the PICA award I won for a book design I did and completing my master's degree. But, I've never felt as much pride as I do when I watch Eddie. Everything he does amazes me.

I have to laugh because the NICU nurses "prepped" me by telling me white males were wimpy and because everything I've read says that preemies have this problem and that problem and that they are prone to learning disabilities and ADD andmotor delays and blah blah blah. I bought all that stuff too. That's not to say that statistically those things are not true, but I don't think statistics can stop God from making a preemie into a genius, or even into a normal little boy.

At any rate, my boy never ceases to amaze me. He is handsome, and sweet (he likes to give mommy kisses) and kind and loveable and smart. He got all those things from his dad cause goodness knows that is certainly not an accurate description of me.

My question though; is it still a sin if I am proud of someone else? I don't know. I won't say I don't care because that would be, well, sacrilegious or something.


Walking? This Apparently Means Trouble

So my little boy took his first steps on his own yesterday. He took two steps and plopped down. Then he did it again.

Of course, he hasn't done it since. What's even "funnier" is that since Eddie took his steps, he's been super clingy. EVERY SINGLE COTTON PICKIN time that I put him down, you know, so that I can go to the bathroom, or make dinner or jsut give my back a rest, he just gets mad.

Mad like his face turns red and he screams until he starts doin' that lip-suckin' thing. It's not been pretty around here lately.

But, he took his first steps and that's enough to make me smile.

No Harm, No Foul

I'm moving onwards and upwards. Shaking the dust off my feet, so to speak.

Some things have happened (actually they've not happened) in recent days that kind of disappointed me. A potential friendship seems to have dissolved into thin air before it really ever even started. That had left me wondering if I had upset this "friend" in some way.

This has bothered me all week. I'm kinda sensitive like that, ya know. :) HOWEVER, I've decided to not waste my time worrying about this anymore. If she's just too busy, then so be it.

In other words, whatever. No harm, no foul. No hard feelings towards her, just maybe a few hurt ones on my end. Nothing I won't recover from.



Today Eddie and I joined our upstairs neighbor and her son at the zoo. Today was the first time Eddie's actually acknowledged the animals. Every other time we've been to the zoo he watches the people.

I can understand that. People are fun(ny) to watch.

Anyway, you guessed it, here are some pictures from the zoo. The last picture was taken as we were crossing the little bridge to get from the entrance to the main part of the zoo. Yes, I do live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth -- especially in the fall.

Eddie's Second Haloweenie

Yesterday was busy, but not because we were doing Haloweenie stuff. We spent the morning at the park playing and having a grand time. Then we came home, ate lunch and Eddie napped.

After naptime I worked on Fort Eddie and then we walked around the mall. By the time we got home, it was 6:30 and we were both beat. Good excuse to not take Eddie out -- he gets cranky when he's tired. He gets that from his dad. LOL!

Anyway... here are a few pictures from the park yesterday.

Look at these eyes. How could I not just absolutely love this boy?

Fort Progress

The fort that I am building for Eddie is coming along pretty well. I did hit a few snags in my sewing, but nothing that can't be fixed.

Thought I would share some pictures. The walls are just about done and I still need ot sew the roof on.

Because I HAVE To...

Sorry, I know this is a little bit late, but the past two days have been busy.

I have to comment on John Kerry's comments.

I didn't hear the entire speech, but the part I heard on the radio ticked me off on many levels: ~that the military is dumb,
~that you're nothing if you don't get a college education,
~that the only intelligence is that given by books and classrooms,
~and that the only way to get ahead in life is to have a college education.

I'm not even going to bother addressing the last three issues.

I don't *really* care that Mr. Kerry (thank God that's not President Kerry) doesn't agree with the war in Iraq.

I don't *really* care about Mr. Kerry's rubbish implying that the War in Iraq is another Vietnam, except that comments by people like him about our military are making this war more like Vietnam than anything that's actually taking place in Iraq.

And I *REALLY* don't care to hear excuses for Mr. Kerry's inexcusable remarks regarding our military.

Honestly, aside from hoping that Kerry comes to know Christ if he doesn't already, I don't *really* care much for him.

HOWEVER, I do take personal offense when someone indicates that my husband is unintelligent, crazy, uneducated or of poor character. I suppose that makes me crazy, at least according to Kerry, since I was offended by his stupid remarks.

Doesn't Scripture say something about, "Out of the heart the mouth speaks"? I am guessing that even though Kerry claims his comments were a failed joke, he at least believes a little bit of what he said -- that only the uneducated end up in the military.

What does that say about him, didn't he serve? Was he "uneducated" or "unintelligent" during the time that he VOLUNTARILY signed up to serve in Vietnam? If that's the case, then how come he used his service in Vietnam in his campaign last election?

I would think that, of all people, Kerry, who experienced firsthand the treatment from the anti-war crowd when he returned from Vietnam, he should know how that feels. And he should know that statements like his are only going to damage the morale of the troops.

While these comments bother me to no end, I am sort of glad that he made them. He has shown his true colors. Perhaps if he keeps talking, he will completely ruin any chances he may have for winning a presidential election. I can only hope. Goodness knows I would not want my husband to have to serve under kerry as commander-in-chief.